here are two slight stories that add up to nothing

[Record Store Day]
Phone Rings
“Hello, Jacks Music”
“……Yeeaahhh, is this the juice bar?”
“No, it’s a record store”
“…awwww..I REALLY wanted the juice bar”
“waitwaitwait…didja get the Phish* album in?”
I thought you wanted a juice bar”
“…Yeeeaaahh…I guess…but I REALLY want the Phish album”
“Well…the store in town that sold juice and records doesn’t sell records anymore and we don’t sell juice and we’re sold out of the Phish album.”
“…soooooo…do ya got the Phish record?”
“…annnnd no juice?”

*the Phish album Lawn Boy was a limited Record Store Day release

A frantic guy came up to the back counter
“ya gotta find this cd for me”
He handed us a card that was written in Cyrillic, which I used to call “the Russian alphabet”. It’s not only a foreign language, it’s a foreign alphabet
“this is in cyrillic, do you have a translation?”
“can’t you type it in?”
“well, no it’s a different language with a different alphabet, don’t you know what it is?”
“no…so you can’t type it in”
“no..most of these letters don’t exist in english..what’s this letter, it looks like a lowercase b with a hat”
“but, I really want that cd”
“well..you’re gonna have to do some homework on it yourself”
“so……..you can’t do it?
And then I pretended I had a phone call.

Cyrillic Alphabet

Cyrillic Alphabet

  1. Cyrillic Phish Juice” would be the name of my band…if I had one…or ANY musical talent…(I’ll go now.)

    • spank
    • April 30th, 2013

    “Hello, Jacks Music”

    “……Yeeaahhh, is this the tube bar?”

    “No, it’s a record store”

    “…awwww..I REALLY wanted the tube bar …… so go fuck yourself, you fuckin’ motherfucker”

    • the artist formely known as Tiina
    • April 30th, 2013

    I wish I had something intelligent/funny to say to this, but I don’t. So I’ll just shut up.
    (Sorry everybody, it’s the 1st official Finnish drinking fest of the year, and I’m really, really drunk.)

    spank, you rule!!! Zzzzzzzzz…..

      • spank
      • April 30th, 2013

      So do you, you drunken buzzard.

  2. …wow…and I thought my lot were bad… I’ll never complain about my customers ever again…please don’t tell yours where I am!…
    (loved this by the way, I can almost empathise)

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