Posts Tagged ‘ record stores ’

I hate me, part 855,987

Two more

1)

Older guy with a plain cloth tote bag containing the records he was looking to sell. After we made a deal on the records, he picked up his bag,

What do you think of this bag…does it look like a ladies bag?

No, just looks like a tote bag

It doesn’t uh…make me look uh…ah….

You look like a guy who’s carrying a bag of records

No….no…that’s not what mean..uh…ah it doesn’t matter…it’s not my bag anyway…so ya‘ know…

That’s cool, it’s just a bag.

Yup, it’s just a bag…that’s not mine

2)

We got a sealed Tool-10,000 Days cd exchanged at the store with a cryptic note from the cashier on it “returned because it’s a cover band”. It seems that a father and son bought the cd and quickly brought it back and instead of saying we bought the wrong cd, can we switch it for something else. The father said he googled the album and his google search said that it wasn’t actually Tool that made 10,000 days but a cover band and couldn’t be convinced otherwise.

I hate me , part 884,907

End of the day closing. We made the announcements, closing in 10 minutes…closing in 5..we’re closed. The last people, a middle aged couple, headed up front with nothing. Then they saw a rack of Jack’s Music shirts. the guy (who was looking at the shirts) was roughly my size, XXL.

(holds up shirt to show his wife) I think I can fit into a large

…I don’t know…are you sure?…maybe something….bigger?

Nah, I got this…(looks at the shirt again)…you think something bigger?

Yes…bigger…yes

(He holds up an XL)…this’ll be good, right?

It’s now about five minutes after we closed, and there is no way that this guy is fitting into an XL, so I piped in.

“Look man, we’re about the same size and I’m wearing a XXL of that shirt, they fit good.”

He looked me up and down, made a lemon face

…yeah…I think I’m gonna go with the XL

He finally headed to the counter, as he was getting rung up

…maybe I’ll try this on…just to make sure it fits (looks at his wife)…right?

He wore a polo shirt and he tried to put the t-shirt over that. It didn’t go well and I’m thinking “if the shirt doesn’t fit, you must acquit”, after a long minute of shirt wrestling, he admitted defeat and bought the XXL. And the long national nightmare was over

I Hate Me, part 838,042

Saturday morning guy looking through the new LP arrivals, started talking wasn’t sure it was directed at me

Bob Seger..Night Moves….Supertramp…REO…

(distorted woman’s voice) what!…Supertramp?…which one?

…you know…Give a Little Bit ‘s on it

Yeah…we got it

I look over the counter and the guy is on FaceTime and their voices are getting louder

Bruce..The Rive (gets cut off)

The What?!

THE RIVER!

Is it good?

Yeah, we like that one

NO! Is it in good shape?

Looks alright

Ok

Til Tuesday…Scandal…Lita Ford, you like her

Which one?

Dancin’ On The Edge

No, I don’t like that one

Ok

The Cars, Candy-O…U2, Blood Red..something…

What songs were on the Lita Ford?

…uh lemme find it.

This went on for about 5 minutes, his iPad lying on a row of records he wasn’t looking thru, which he had to move it a few times for other customers, who were giving him the side eye. He eventually left with nothing.

I Hate Me, part 811,009

Middle aged guy, well groomed, like he’s coming from a town council meeting. comes in infrequently, usually right before closing. Thinks my name is Jason, brags about his high end stereo gear. He always asks broad questions and then fine tunes them until he gets a negative answer and then he’s bummed.

Yo Jason

…oh, hey

You got dvd’s? (asked while standing in front of a wall of dvd’s)

Yeah (point to the wall behind him)

No, bro. Music dvd’s…ya know, music

Sure, right here (point out the music dvd section)

Drums bro, I want drum dvd’s…ya know drummers

Don’t think so, mainly just bands

(Shoulders sag) *sigh* bro….dvd’s sound sooooo good through my system

Yeaaahhh….sorry….and we’re closing up soon

I hate me, part 844,915

I’m at the back counter pricing records, a well heeled older guy with two little children comes up near the counter:

Carly Simon!

…yeah? What about her?

Where’s she at?

CD’s or records?

(heavy sigh) cd’s

I show him where her section is

…ok…what do uh new cars have?…Discs?

I don’t know, I haven’t had a new car for a long time but I think you have to order a CD player special for the car, I think they’re just set up for streaming from your phone

…ok…what do I got?

…uh..I wouldn’t know, man

I got a new car…so?…

Did you order a CD player for it?

I dunno

Well, I’m not gonna know

…hmmm…guess I’m gonna have to check.

Yeah, I guess

He didn’t come back

I hate me, part 820,715

Guy calls up:

I gotta lot records to sell…all good stuff…all good

Ok, bring ‘em down. We’re not buying any classical or easy listening.

All rock…all rock, Moody Blues, Billy Joel…and… uh…uh, it’s spelt..waitaminute…ETINEIENR…TEINEGEE..EIREI….E, got a picture of a dude at a carnival, real rock n roll stuff, you gotta know it, it’s from the 70’s or 80’s or something

…yeah, I’m not familiar with them, bring ‘em down, we’ll take a look

About an hour later he came in, younger guy looked like he did house clean outs, had a garbage bag of records (never a good sign), dumped them on the counter. It was clear that he had little to no knowledge about any of the records but he was trying push each one.

That Motels record is a good one…Rod Stewart, people like him

We got to a record of traditional Japanese music, with most of the text in Japanese

Dude…I don’t know what the fuck that says on the cover but I know people who are into that shit …and dude they are INTO that shit…so you know…

Yeah?

Oh yeah.

Real rock n roll stuff

I hate me, part 884,032

It was a Friday night in October, this guy came in, 40’s, skinny, leather skull cap bandanna. Looked like a guy who I worked with on few Monster Magnet shows, but I wasn’t sure and I didn’t want to be a dick. So I gave him a “hey, what’s up”, and realized it wasn’t him. He started looking through the records by the back counter, “yeah, I got allllllll these records” and then proceeded to sing each band name in a quiet, tuneless voice, “Thu EEEEGULLLLLS……HALLLLIN OATSSSSS”, this went on for what seemed like hours but was probably less than a minute. “Yeah, you guys got turntables?….goooood ones, I don’t want no shit….I had a fucking Panasonic, they don’t make that no more….I’m not buyin’ one more record ‘til I get a turntable…AND fuckin’ speakers…I got all these…look at this” holds up a copy of ELO-El Dorado “LEISURE RIGHT CORSETRA, this is what I’m fuckin’ talkin’ about, right?!…I’ll come back when I get a turntable, don’t worry you’ll see me again”. And he has been back. Every week or so and goes into the guitar shop, picks up a guitar and serenades whatever customers are there and the poor bastard who works in the room. It’s mostly 70’s soft rock.