Posts Tagged ‘ Ribeye Brothers ’

I Hate Me, part 530,817

I was out getting drinks with my wife and some friends. The bar we went to was run by a guy I was friendly with but hadn’t seen in quite awhile. He’s a fan of my band The Ribeye Brothers which is really nice and he was telling the woman he was tending bar with about the band. Our first cd is called “If I Had a Horse…”, the title is taken from a blooper reel by ABC-TV announcer Ernie Anderson (He was THE voice of ABC in the 80’s and early 90’s, he was also Ghoulardi, late night horror movie host and father of director Paul Thomas Anderson). The blooper reel is 10+ minutes of the best recorded cursing I’ve ever heard. Anyhow, he says “If I had a horse I’d buy it oats and fuck it” and we sampled it and used it on the title track which is a Link Wray-ish instrumental.
You gotta hear his band, they’re great. He has a song that he sings “If I had a horse I’d buy it oats and fuck it”
I’m mortified. My wife, my brother and my friend Sean are savoring my uncomfortableness
I…I…I..didn’t say that…or sing that…it’s a sample from a TV announcer…a blooper reel..and..
Wait…that’s not you saying “If I had a horse, I’d buy it oats and fuck it”
No…no…no..I didn’t say it…I don’t even know what it means…we thought it was funny..
The barmaid he was telling this to is looking at me with all the disgust that one would give to an admitted horse fucker and I’m verbally dancing like Ali in the ring trying not to be tagged with a bigger embarrassment punch.
No…it’s this guy… Ernie Anderson…he used to announce stuff on ABC tv in the eighties…He’s the father of Paul Thomas Anderson…the director…you know…Boogie Nights…The Master……no?….ok…so this guy….somebody made a blooper reel…of this guy…messing up his lines…and…and…
They had walked away to serve other customers and they were thoroughly unconvinced. I gave the people I was with a “what the fuck just happened” look and Sean said “I didn’t know you fucked a horse”

Ernie Anderson blooper reel from Celebrities at Their Worst (Note: LOTS of cursing)

I Hate Me, part 490,222

There’s an odd, very small sub-strata of used record customers who get peeved when used albums for bands they like aren’t selling for as much as they think the band is worth.
A mid thirties “dude”, leather jacket, neatly trimmed hair and beard, sees a used copy of Judas Priest-Turbo:
-$3.99?!? NO WAY MAAAaaaaaann!
Yep, $3.99
-You gotta sell this for more, man It’s PRIEST….PRIEST, man.
[like an idiot, I engage him and explain my pricing]
It’s worth $3.99 here. The vinyl is pretty solid but the cover is kind of beat.
-No, Man…..You gotta sell this for… least……$20…..It’s PRIEST, man… C’MON!
-Well, you can buy it for $20 if you want…I don’t mind.
-No man….No….I got it already.
-But you want somebody else to pay $20 for it?
-No….no…………no but man, it’s priest.

As may have noticed I haven’t been posting as much lately, the reason being that I’m trying to finish writing words for a new new record by my band The Ribeye Brothers. For me writing songs is slow and agonizing (although not as much as listening to them. POW!) So I’ve been concentrating on that. Here are a couple of Album title/cover ideas.
over under sideways shittwilley does mindRibeyes sound explosion

new record

I’m taking a few days off from posting. My band The Ribeye Brothers is recording a new record and I have to massage my 1/4 octave vocal range into something that resembles listenable and write some words that don’t sound like a mean spirited greeting card. We’ve been trying to come up with an album title and since none of us can agree we’re just going to name it after a song on the record. Here were some of the titles that we couldn’t agree on:
Ribeye Brothers IV-SoSo
Obscured by Clods
Your Pie, Sir
Cakes for all Occasions
Give the People What They Don’t Want
Super Fez, Big Mufti (a tribute to North African rock)
Tales from the Alcoholic Oceans
Worm Apartment Guide
The Horses are Shooting Themselves
A Day at the Zoo
Songs From The Kissing Booth
Everything Went Brown
What the Clown is Fucking
Rubber Tires, Nylon Hose, Bourbon, Butter, and Other Picture Postcards

I Hate Me, part 196,332

I recently had a talk with the dog about pulling her own weight around the house. You know helping out with chores, that kind of thing. Well she decided to help out by helping me archive my old cassettes. I thought they were in pretty good shape but the dog had other ideas. She decided on something a little more organic, storage wise. Her radical plan involves chewing up the tapes, eating the parts that she deems are worthy of archiving and then storing them in her own shit. I’m not sure I agree with her methods but she thinks it’s a simple, elegant, environmentally aware solution. Or it could just be a scathing review of my music.

Tape archiving pt.1


Tape archiving pt. 2