Archive for the ‘ I Hate Me ’ Category

I Hate Me, part 681,011

Very old guy, looking for a Diana Krall CD. He had a hard to place accent and coupled with his ancientness made it really difficult to understand him. Found the CD for him while he was looking at our small collection of used cassettes
Guy-are these all Jacks?
Me- yeah, all those are his…he bought ‘em
really…there’re allll Jacks?
…..yeah….well he owns the store…so all the product in the store…he owns…until somebody buys it…then it’s theirs

Odd looks (What the FUCK is he talking about?) from him and me

 I want Jacks music
You’re in Jacks Music…this whole place…is Jacks Music
…all of it?
…yeah….Look….I don’t think I know what you’re talking about
Jacks, jacks…jacks

And he pointed to the Diana Krall cd…and… LIGHTBULB!

Do you mean jazz music…jazz…zzz…zzz?
Yes…Jacks music
Yeah…we got some jazz…how about Louis Armstrong?
NO!

He ended up buying a George Benson tape and the worst unscripted Abbott & Costello routine ended

Now that's some good jacks

Now that’s some good jacks

I Hate Me, part 620,916

 

Large disheveled guy and his wife lurched into the store with a big misshapen box of records that was more duct tape than box. As he was elaborately taking the tape off of the box to get at the records within…
I got a lot of great records here…A LOT!…and they’re all in great shape…I looked at ‘em myself…so I know……(still wrestling with the tape, instead of just cutting it off)GODDAMN BOX!!…Yeah! They’re alllll good….
He finally opened the box and it was full of LP’s, solid 60’s-70’s rock titles. A bunch of Grateful Dead and Dead related, a lot with no sleeves or covers.
Yeah…there’s no covers on those
You mean the ones with no covers?
Yeah, them
I start to go through the albums that still had covers, they were a bit beat up but still very playable. The couple stood there staring at each album as I looked at it. I got to a copy of The Beatles-Hey Jude. The wife piped up
Is that Abbey Road?
It’s not a crazy question for somebody who doesn’t know much about music, the album title isn’t on the cover. The husband did an exaggerated eye roll
Noooooooo!….it’s the….the…..it’s the goddamn…White Album
Ohhhh…The White Album
Yeah…yeah…sometin like that.
Oh… I wanna see it
We’re Sellin’ IT!
I KNOW WE’RE SELLIN’ IT!
I KNOW YOU KNOW! (to me) The White Album..You don’t see a lot of those do ya?
Not that version of it.
We settled on a price and as I was paying him he tried to sell me a handmade Grateful Dead belt, which he unfortunately didn’t have with him.

Rare copy of the White Album

Rare copy of the White Album

I Hate Me, part 671,914

 

Late afternoon at work. Large guy, kind of a mess lugged in a large garbage bag of records. I have found that the majority of the time somebody drags in a large garbage of records that’s usually where they belong but like Charlie Brown and the football I’m always hopeful.
Hey Dude, I gotta lot a great records that I gotta sell…they’re takin’ up space.
Ok, let me take a look at them. Please take ‘em out of the bag
He takes them out and they’re mostly shitty and moldy and a lot of them are stuck together from water damage. They are on the far side of unsellable. The record on top was Phil Collins-No Jacket Required.
They’re all good right? Dude, I hate to sell ‘em, I love ‘em…but…ahhh you know…
Man, these records are….terrible…man…they’re moldy and stuck together. Jesus, man….Christ…look at ‘em…they’re shot.
No….dude…no..you don’t want…uh..(looks at the Phil Collins record)…you don’t want…Phil…Phil Wilson?…Dude, Phil Wilson…You can’t sell that?
Nahhhh…sorry man there’s not much call for Phil Wilson these days…sorry..These records are in terrible shape.
(heavy sigh)…Alright dude.
and he lugged them back out

Dude, you can't sell Phil Wilson?

Dude, you can’t sell Phil Wilson?

I Hate Me, pt 639,153

Jack’s Music on a Sunday has a fair amount of people who don’t usually go to record stores and it’s a bit like a curio shop, there are also non traditional customers. This was one who was observed by Jon. A younger guy had a couple of cd’s and he had them lying flat on a counter, he looked like he was trying to decide between them. He finally decided by taking a crystal on a string which he held above them and let the crystal determine which one to purchase. The winner was a Steve Vai cd, I’m not sure who the loser was.

A favorite of man and crystal alike

A favorite of man and crystal alike

I Hate Me, part 628,004

Guy comes in, he’s been in before a few times, kind of buzzed
Hey, how you doin’ tonight?
He stops looks slowly at me
NEVER…FELT…BETTER
well, that’s great.
Yeah, I’m 35 and my knee, like this (reaches down to his knee mimes throbbing pain)..my hip…my GROIN…MY FUCKING BALLSACK…killin’ me…I thought I had testosterone cancer ya know..so I go to a chiropractor, I don’t fuckin’ know, right? I tell him, my knees, my back, my balls, my hip. He says, I can take care a that…four fuckin’ treatments! and I’m great…He told me, you’re good, don’t come back for a month…fuckin’ chiropractors…he said it’s all in your fuckin’ back

One fuckin' back at a time

One fuckin’ back at a time

 

I Hate Me, part 641,544

 

Late Friday, small, drunkish middle aged guy who resembled Billy Joel, looking at a bunch of rock t-shirts hanging on the wall. All mainstream rock bands the most “out there” artist was Joy Division.
Jeeesus…these kids and their music…I never heard uh none those bands…not one of ‘em…
I glanced back to see if somebody switched out the t-shirts, nope.
..am I right…huh?
Well you know these kids are all about the Beatles these days… I think they might be something.
Well…yeah, I heardah them…. but you know…..yeah….yeah the others…ok… Bruce, I know about him…alright…alright….I know who the fuck Pink Floyd is…and ok….ok Ramones….yeah…and I heard about The Velvet Undergrounds…ok…alright I guess I know most of this stuff….but you know….what are these fuckin’ kids listening to…right?
shirts jacks

 

 

I Hate Me, part 629,109

 

Older couple came in with a bag of records
Careful they’re a little wet
Oh…I didn’t know it was raining
It’s not………
…….oh……….what happened to them?
(shoulder shrug)…..
I didn’t buy any of them

 

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