Posts Tagged ‘ retail ’

I hate me, part 855,987

Two more

1)

Older guy with a plain cloth tote bag containing the records he was looking to sell. After we made a deal on the records, he picked up his bag,

What do you think of this bag…does it look like a ladies bag?

No, just looks like a tote bag

It doesn’t uh…make me look uh…ah….

You look like a guy who’s carrying a bag of records

No….no…that’s not what mean..uh…ah it doesn’t matter…it’s not my bag anyway…so ya‘ know…

That’s cool, it’s just a bag.

Yup, it’s just a bag…that’s not mine

2)

We got a sealed Tool-10,000 Days cd exchanged at the store with a cryptic note from the cashier on it “returned because it’s a cover band”. It seems that a father and son bought the cd and quickly brought it back and instead of saying we bought the wrong cd, can we switch it for something else. The father said he googled the album and his google search said that it wasn’t actually Tool that made 10,000 days but a cover band and couldn’t be convinced otherwise.

I hate me, 810,732

Two items today:

1)

Middle aged guy, shorts, tucked in t-shirt, back counter of the store.

Know what I’m looking for?

Now this is usually not a question, it’s a lead in and 999 out of a 1,000 it’s quickly followed by what the customer is looking for, not this time, after an uncomfortable amount of time

…ya got me, no idea what you want

Sheryl Crow…Heart…characters like that

Artists who are women?

You know…

…Are you looking for them on cd or lp?

Yes

Well, we have a ton of cd’s on both and maybe a few used Heart LPs

Ok then

…Ok then, cd’s?

Ok

He bought some stuff and as he was leaving he held up a Jack’s bag full of cd’s

I paid for this…don’t worry…so I’m good…32 dollars you got from me…but you guys deserve it…I’m good to go

2)

Sean took care of this customer, he’s been a regular for years and sometimes returns used cds as defective, his explanations are usually good. He returned a used Korn cd:

“Yeah, this plays fine at home but when I’m in my car, this one and a Pantera cd I bought just play a loop of nature sounds…I’m gonna keep the Pantera though.

I hate me , part 884,907

End of the day closing. We made the announcements, closing in 10 minutes…closing in 5..we’re closed. The last people, a middle aged couple, headed up front with nothing. Then they saw a rack of Jack’s Music shirts. the guy (who was looking at the shirts) was roughly my size, XXL.

(holds up shirt to show his wife) I think I can fit into a large

…I don’t know…are you sure?…maybe something….bigger?

Nah, I got this…(looks at the shirt again)…you think something bigger?

Yes…bigger…yes

(He holds up an XL)…this’ll be good, right?

It’s now about five minutes after we closed, and there is no way that this guy is fitting into an XL, so I piped in.

“Look man, we’re about the same size and I’m wearing a XXL of that shirt, they fit good.”

He looked me up and down, made a lemon face

…yeah…I think I’m gonna go with the XL

He finally headed to the counter, as he was getting rung up

…maybe I’ll try this on…just to make sure it fits (looks at his wife)…right?

He wore a polo shirt and he tried to put the t-shirt over that. It didn’t go well and I’m thinking “if the shirt doesn’t fit, you must acquit”, after a long minute of shirt wrestling, he admitted defeat and bought the XXL. And the long national nightmare was over

I Hate Me, part 811,009

Middle aged guy, well groomed, like he’s coming from a town council meeting. comes in infrequently, usually right before closing. Thinks my name is Jason, brags about his high end stereo gear. He always asks broad questions and then fine tunes them until he gets a negative answer and then he’s bummed.

Yo Jason

…oh, hey

You got dvd’s? (asked while standing in front of a wall of dvd’s)

Yeah (point to the wall behind him)

No, bro. Music dvd’s…ya know, music

Sure, right here (point out the music dvd section)

Drums bro, I want drum dvd’s…ya know drummers

Don’t think so, mainly just bands

(Shoulders sag) *sigh* bro….dvd’s sound sooooo good through my system

Yeaaahhh….sorry….and we’re closing up soon

I Hate Me, part 876,008

[I haven’t written in a while, or more precisely haven’t posted anything. Figured I’d try doing it again, This piece was started last fall]

A woman and her adult son came in and I could hear them bickering before I could hear any actual words, just sharp murmuring. As they got to the used cassette section,

SON-Look at all these cassettes, I should go through mine and sell some

MOM-You need to go through that stuff and deal with it

SON-Hey, they call it spring cleaning not fall cleaning (when he said this it was delivered with a smirk)

MOM-YOU BEEN SAYIN’ THAT FOR FIVE YEARS!

SON-Maaaaaaaa!

MOM-WELLLLL!?!

SON-I’LL DO IT!…I said I’ll do it an I’ll do it!

MOM-WHEN?!?!

SON-Maaaaaaa!

Then they walked through the store and out of our lives

I hate me, part 752,444

This customer came in, he’s been coming in sporadically for years, middle aged, kind of a wild card. The kind of guy who’s disappointed that we only have Helen Reddy’s greatest hits cd instead all the original albums. Sometimes he comes in with his girlfriend they don’t so much talk as bark short sentences at each other.

Guy- so me an my girlfriend… we’re comin’ into the store…we’re arguing…a little……an this guy…from the pizza place… is looking at us…he’s looking at us!…WHATS SO GREAT ABOUT MAKIN’ PIZZA!…ya know?…pizza…heh…

Me-…yeah…pizza

Guy-…I know, right?

Me-……..yeah…

Guy-you guys get a lot fights in here?

Me-…..in the store?…no, not really

Guy-what would you guys’do?

Me-..I dunno…let em fight and take bets

Guy-…wouldn’t call the cops?

Me-yeah, we’d call the cops

Guy-…cause I almost just got into a fight

Me-…yeah I heard…I gotta get back to work

And I hid in the stockroom

I hate me, part 749,001

Middle aged guy came into the store, windbreaker and mesh back cap with a fish on it. He ended up at the back counter. He was looking for a cd and Matt was his man. Matt is in his thirties and clearly looks like he’s in his thirties.

Guy-What are you…like 50…60?

Matt-(long pause)…yeah…

The guy was standing in front of a record rack. I was in the aisle and I could see that as he was talking to Matt he was calmly cutting his nails with a nail clipper, the nail shards were falling into the record rack, Aaaaughhh!! I stared at him in disbelief, he didn’t notice. The record rack is tall enough where Matt didn’t see what he was doing. Matt asked him to come behind the counter to look at a cd he had on the computer, to make sure it was the one he wanted. The guy stopped cutting his nails but there was a hanging thumbnail, he went behind the counter and his hand with the hanging nail was right above my coffee. I got a better vantage point to see if his goddamn rotten thumbnail was gonna fall into my coffee. So I was giving him the stink eye while chanting a mantra in my head “DON’TFALLOFFDON’TFALLOFFDON’TFALLOFF…”. He finished looking at the computer and gave me a return stink eye (which in retrospect was completely warranted as he had no idea why I was giving him the stink eye and I couldn’t have blurted out “your goddamn nail!”). As he was trundling off he went back to clipping his nails.