Posts Tagged ‘ record store ’

I hate me, 810,732

Two items today:

1)

Middle aged guy, shorts, tucked in t-shirt, back counter of the store.

Know what I’m looking for?

Now this is usually not a question, it’s a lead in and 999 out of a 1,000 it’s quickly followed by what the customer is looking for, not this time, after an uncomfortable amount of time

…ya got me, no idea what you want

Sheryl Crow…Heart…characters like that

Artists who are women?

You know…

…Are you looking for them on cd or lp?

Yes

Well, we have a ton of cd’s on both and maybe a few used Heart LPs

Ok then

…Ok then, cd’s?

Ok

He bought some stuff and as he was leaving he held up a Jack’s bag full of cd’s

I paid for this…don’t worry…so I’m good…32 dollars you got from me…but you guys deserve it…I’m good to go

2)

Sean took care of this customer, he’s been a regular for years and sometimes returns used cds as defective, his explanations are usually good. He returned a used Korn cd:

“Yeah, this plays fine at home but when I’m in my car, this one and a Pantera cd I bought just play a loop of nature sounds…I’m gonna keep the Pantera though.

I hate me , part 884,907

End of the day closing. We made the announcements, closing in 10 minutes…closing in 5..we’re closed. The last people, a middle aged couple, headed up front with nothing. Then they saw a rack of Jack’s Music shirts. the guy (who was looking at the shirts) was roughly my size, XXL.

(holds up shirt to show his wife) I think I can fit into a large

…I don’t know…are you sure?…maybe something….bigger?

Nah, I got this…(looks at the shirt again)…you think something bigger?

Yes…bigger…yes

(He holds up an XL)…this’ll be good, right?

It’s now about five minutes after we closed, and there is no way that this guy is fitting into an XL, so I piped in.

“Look man, we’re about the same size and I’m wearing a XXL of that shirt, they fit good.”

He looked me up and down, made a lemon face

…yeah…I think I’m gonna go with the XL

He finally headed to the counter, as he was getting rung up

…maybe I’ll try this on…just to make sure it fits (looks at his wife)…right?

He wore a polo shirt and he tried to put the t-shirt over that. It didn’t go well and I’m thinking “if the shirt doesn’t fit, you must acquit”, after a long minute of shirt wrestling, he admitted defeat and bought the XXL. And the long national nightmare was over

I Hate Me, part 838,042

Saturday morning guy looking through the new LP arrivals, started talking wasn’t sure it was directed at me

Bob Seger..Night Moves….Supertramp…REO…

(distorted woman’s voice) what!…Supertramp?…which one?

…you know…Give a Little Bit ‘s on it

Yeah…we got it

I look over the counter and the guy is on FaceTime and their voices are getting louder

Bruce..The Rive (gets cut off)

The What?!

THE RIVER!

Is it good?

Yeah, we like that one

NO! Is it in good shape?

Looks alright

Ok

Til Tuesday…Scandal…Lita Ford, you like her

Which one?

Dancin’ On The Edge

No, I don’t like that one

Ok

The Cars, Candy-O…U2, Blood Red..something…

What songs were on the Lita Ford?

…uh lemme find it.

This went on for about 5 minutes, his iPad lying on a row of records he wasn’t looking thru, which he had to move it a few times for other customers, who were giving him the side eye. He eventually left with nothing.

I Hate Me, part 811,009

Middle aged guy, well groomed, like he’s coming from a town council meeting. comes in infrequently, usually right before closing. Thinks my name is Jason, brags about his high end stereo gear. He always asks broad questions and then fine tunes them until he gets a negative answer and then he’s bummed.

Yo Jason

…oh, hey

You got dvd’s? (asked while standing in front of a wall of dvd’s)

Yeah (point to the wall behind him)

No, bro. Music dvd’s…ya know, music

Sure, right here (point out the music dvd section)

Drums bro, I want drum dvd’s…ya know drummers

Don’t think so, mainly just bands

(Shoulders sag) *sigh* bro….dvd’s sound sooooo good through my system

Yeaaahhh….sorry….and we’re closing up soon

I hate me, part 844,915

I’m at the back counter pricing records, a well heeled older guy with two little children comes up near the counter:

Carly Simon!

…yeah? What about her?

Where’s she at?

CD’s or records?

(heavy sigh) cd’s

I show him where her section is

…ok…what do uh new cars have?…Discs?

I don’t know, I haven’t had a new car for a long time but I think you have to order a CD player special for the car, I think they’re just set up for streaming from your phone

…ok…what do I got?

…uh..I wouldn’t know, man

I got a new car…so?…

Did you order a CD player for it?

I dunno

Well, I’m not gonna know

…hmmm…guess I’m gonna have to check.

Yeah, I guess

He didn’t come back

I Hate Me, part 822,940

I had never paid much attention to Maynard Ferguson, I always thought of his stuff as “Johnny Carson Jazz”, middle aged TV big band, slick but not hip. As I’ve seen a lot of his albums come through the store I’ve noticed the use of his initials MF in the titles and have wondered if they were sly references to “MotherFucker”. As in “Maynard’s a real motherfucker on the trumpet!”

An older guy was looking through the jazz albums, pulled out The Maynard Ferguson Sextet and he started talking out loud to nobody in particular but I figured it was directed at me.

“Back in the day Maynard Ferguson and Stan Getz would drive around on acid playing saxophones…ACID…that’s when acid was legal…and they recorded a version of Summertime…ON THIS RECORD…you can tell…man, you can tell…wild WILD note bending…they were friends with Timothy Leary…and Leary had a house…a big house in California…Ferguson and Getz hung out there and played…and played…now weed was illegal…but acid…ACID…acid was legal then…think of it..now, I don’t know if they were ON acid when they recorded this…and no, I’m not on acid…but uh….uh…I’d buy this record but it’s scratched.”

And then he left, I listened to it and although it was better than I’d thought it would be it wasn’t the acid drenched epiphany I was led to believe.

acid

I hate me, part 820,715

Guy calls up:

I gotta lot records to sell…all good stuff…all good

Ok, bring ‘em down. We’re not buying any classical or easy listening.

All rock…all rock, Moody Blues, Billy Joel…and… uh…uh, it’s spelt..waitaminute…ETINEIENR…TEINEGEE..EIREI….E, got a picture of a dude at a carnival, real rock n roll stuff, you gotta know it, it’s from the 70’s or 80’s or something

…yeah, I’m not familiar with them, bring ‘em down, we’ll take a look

About an hour later he came in, younger guy looked like he did house clean outs, had a garbage bag of records (never a good sign), dumped them on the counter. It was clear that he had little to no knowledge about any of the records but he was trying push each one.

That Motels record is a good one…Rod Stewart, people like him

We got to a record of traditional Japanese music, with most of the text in Japanese

Dude…I don’t know what the fuck that says on the cover but I know people who are into that shit …and dude they are INTO that shit…so you know…

Yeah?

Oh yeah.

Real rock n roll stuff