I Hate Me, part 466,827
Older guy steams in, very animated but seemingly normal. His socks, the color of a traffic cone should have been a tip off.
“I got a tape sitting up front for me that I ordered but I got a question, there’s a song called Black Butterfly by Deniece Williams, do you have it…she’s black”
“…let me check”
As I’m looking up to see what album it’s on and it’s availability, he lets out a deep satisfied sigh and slaps his belly
“yeahhpp, I got all the good tapes…all kinds of music…I even got Springsteen…I knew him when he used to play on the rocks in Long Branch and nobody cared…now look at him…he’s famous…”
“Sorry but we don’t have any Deniece Williams in stock, that song is on a greatest hits cd that I can order in for you”
“Ok fine…so you’ll order that tape for me it for me?”
“yup, it’s a cd not a tape, I just need your name and number”
which he proceded to do
“Ok.. that should be about a week, we’ll give you a call”
“Fine, now can you show me where her tapes..uh cd’s are, I wanna see if it’s on anything else”
“……..I’m sorry, maybe you misunderstood me…we don’t have any Deniece Williams cd’s in stock…none in the store…nothing by her at all…”
dead look
“just show me where her section is…I wanna check.”
“well…like I’ve been saying we don’t have any…if we had it, I would sell it to you because that would be easier for both of us… I wouldn’t have to order it”
dead look
“but where do you file it”
“W soul, over there”
two minutes later
“yeah, you don’t have it”
“…really?, that’s surprising”
“sooooooo….you’ll order it?
I nodded yes, then went into the stock room and screamed into my arm
should have been a tip off
ugh! 
Deniece Williams ?
Who the hell named her, her drunken forgetful uncle ??
A woman, mid 30’s, came into my store looking for a Jessica Simpson cd. She was shocked I didn’t have it. “But she’s pretty big!!!” she exclaimed. I told her she hadn’t put out a new cd since 2008, not counting her Christmas release. I said it in a consoling tone, as if that is something I would order on a regular basis. She seemed to buy it. Retail requires much fibbing.
Those are awesome socks