Posts Tagged ‘ record shop ’

I Hate Me, part 766,310

Middle aged hippie guy who I wrote about in the last post came into Jack’s on a Saturday. He never buys anything, complains about prices and gives us tips on how to make the store better. He’ll also comment on customers music selections. There was a couple looking through our Grateful Dead section and he generously gave them his opinion.

“Yeah…ya want to buy those…They’re only the greatest band…and they’re American…so…ya know”

The customers looked at him and walked away with no cd’s, hippie guy sauntered to the back counter where I was.

“Yeah…I just sold some Dead for ya…they’re the greatest band in the world, it’s a fact… Ya know the Stones and those guys they’re not American…they’re just not…they’re English…The Dead…they’re American bro…I should work here ya know”

And off he went.

I hate me, part 749,001

Middle aged guy came into the store, windbreaker and mesh back cap with a fish on it. He ended up at the back counter. He was looking for a cd and Matt was his man. Matt is in his thirties and clearly looks like he’s in his thirties.

Guy-What are you…like 50…60?

Matt-(long pause)…yeah…

The guy was standing in front of a record rack. I was in the aisle and I could see that as he was talking to Matt he was calmly cutting his nails with a nail clipper, the nail shards were falling into the record rack, Aaaaughhh!! I stared at him in disbelief, he didn’t notice. The record rack is tall enough where Matt didn’t see what he was doing. Matt asked him to come behind the counter to look at a cd he had on the computer, to make sure it was the one he wanted. The guy stopped cutting his nails but there was a hanging thumbnail, he went behind the counter and his hand with the hanging nail was right above my coffee. I got a better vantage point to see if his goddamn rotten thumbnail was gonna fall into my coffee. So I was giving him the stink eye while chanting a mantra in my head “DON’TFALLOFFDON’TFALLOFFDON’TFALLOFF…”. He finished looking at the computer and gave me a return stink eye (which in retrospect was completely warranted as he had no idea why I was giving him the stink eye and I couldn’t have blurted out “your goddamn nail!”). As he was trundling off he went back to clipping his nails.