Posts Tagged ‘ fathers day ’

I Hate Me, 829,073

Sinatra is a Father’s Day staple. People come in looking for a last minute gift usually settle on Sinatra, it’s safe. It’s a Father’s Day gift, the stakes aren’t that high. Phone call: young guy, woman in the background feeding him questions.

Yeah, this is Mario, I’m gonna be coming in for a Father’s Day gift, I want a Sinatra vinyl

Ok, we have a bunch of Sinatra records, new and used.

Yeah…but I want something rare (background chatter )..yeah, something really rare, hard to find.

We have a bunch of albums but nothing really rare, anything in particular?

(to woman in background) THEY DON’T HAVE ANYTHING RARE! (back to me) well, what’s the best one you got.

Well he’s got a lot of records, his career lasted decades, give me a song and I can work from there, or you can get a greatest hits.

(to woman in background) HE DON’T KNOW! …I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT ME TO DO…HE DON’T KNOW WHAT THE BEST ONE IS!… (back to me)Yeah, no we don’t want a greatest hits…we want, you know his best one…maybe we’ll come in, I dunno.

The Son Also Sets

only 100 of these were made, beware the brown dice.

This is a reprint from The Manhattaner magazine (Dec, 2010)
Being the son of a minor celebrity has it’s perks as well as it’s drawbacks. Being the son of a minor celebrity with a bad reputation is mostly drawbacks. Being the son of the late infamous “shock rocker” Kevin Michael “GG” Allin and following in his musical footsteps might be the toughest row to hoe. Meet Adof Hiltleer Allin, the twenty five year old son of GG Allin. “Yeah, I know. What’s up with that name, right? Well you know my dad’s crazy sense of humor,  he wanted to name me Adolph Hitler Allin but he was pretty wasted when he was filling out the name card.” Adof’s upbringing was unconventional at best, stories like driving the tour van when he was six years old because he was the most sober don’t paint the whole picture though. “Bet you didn’t know dad was avid Yahtzee player, he was.   Most people think life with GG Allin  was just filth, feces and drugs, and yeah, there was a lot of that but there was also a lot of quiet time, or brain time as dad used to call it. Besides the Yahtzee he was also an amateur botanist and let me tell you when he was wasted and he demanded the correct latin name of a plant, usually something that he had shoved up his ass during a performance and you didn’t know the right name for it, he’d break out the botany books and give long lectures, he was very passionate about it. Some nights the band wouldn’t start the show on time because dad was teaching us about dwarf azaleas or something.” Adof doesn’t like to dwell on his childhood, summing it up with “It was pretty weird being the littlest Murder Junkie” (a reference to Allins band at the time). The young Allin prefers to look to the future, “I’ve taken some cues from dad and I started singing, I’m changing my name to Little Wretched. I’m gonna be doing updated versions of the oldies, Elvis, Little Richard, Roy Orbison stuff like that but I’m gonna add that little extra Allin zing. You know, changing some lyrics, porn ‘em up a little. They’ll be blood, drugs and of course feces and who knows maybe some Yahtzee as well.”

…and amateur botanist