A&P Press, Feb. 2, 2010
Genetic enhancement scientists at Greenwave Foods have reported an exciting breakthrough in bio-engineered food, Edible Utensils. Professor Jay Payton explains, “When we first tackled genetically enhanced foods everyone was worried about talking corn, or flying poisonous broccoli. And except for that unfortunate mishap in Andover* two years ago there’s really been no problems that I can speak of…” He continues, “ So we figured if we’re altering foods genetic makeup why not make the fruit and vegetables functional as well. Christ, an apple is just a round thing that sits there, hanging from a tree. What we’ve developed is an apple that grows in the shape of a spoon. So we now have an apple that is functional as well as delicious. You can eat with it, then you can eat it. We’re doing what mother nature would do if she was smart, and we’re sure Edible Utensils will be better for the planet.” Greenwave Foods is also developing an asparagus in the shape of a fork, and a candelabra shaped plum.
* five scientists were killed when a peach imbued with the spirit of Genghis Khan went on a kill crazy rampage.