Archive for the ‘ news stories/magazine articles ’ Category

REPRINT: American Santa Vs. Russian Santa

[Yeah i know another goddamn reprint, but I’m completely under the gun. New stuff by monday. sorry]


American Santa Vs. Russian Santa

While going thru some of my parents’ old things, I came across a cold war era Christmas pamphlet that was distributed by the Bayonne Decency League (the BDL) entitled The American Santa Claus. Here’s an excerpt comparing the American Santa with the Russian Santa:

* The American Santa delivers toys and candy.
* The Russian Santa delivers savage beatings.

* The American Santa wears a red suit the same color as the proud red stripes of the American flag.
* The Russian Santa wears a suit stained red with the blood of innocents.

* The American Santa has friendly, patriotic reindeer pulling his sled thru the night sky.
* The Russian Santa has bloodthirsty flying wolves pulling a dilapidated prison wagon around.

* The American Santa puts toys and treats into stockings hung with care.
* The Russian Santa slops sour borscht into hollowed out peasant feet that are crudely nailed to a wall.

* The American Santa eats milk and cookies left out for him by boys and girls.
* The Russian Santa feasts on childrens dreams and drinks their frightened tears.

REPRINT: micro-refurbishing

[I just got back from tour yesterday, my band had a show last night (with Rocket From the Tombs, who were great). I am burnt. This is a reprint from February]


Doing Their Part #1: Micro-Refurbishing

From time to time we here at Ugh! like to tip our hats to people who make a difference in our society. The following is an excerpt from The Manhattaner magazine (April, 2010).
Walt Terrell is a 48 year old salesman, he’s married with two children and he lives in Brooklyn. He cares deeply for the city and he wanted to do his part. After months of planning he hit upon an idea, he’s now the face of a new movement he’s hoping will sweep the nation, Micro-Refurbishing. We’ll let Walt describe what it’s all about, “Well, most people want to help change things for the better but they don’t know where to start. They usually attempt something big, they’re going for the grand gesture and when it doesn’t happen fast enough or they encounter some obstacle they get disappointed and quit. With micro-refurbishing we start small. I’ll give you an example, the Brooklyn Bridge is a national treasure but it gets a little shabby from time to time, so over a six week period last year I refurbished a bolt on the pedestrian walkway, well not the whole bolt, just the top part. I cleaned it with a wire brush and steel wool than I primed it and painted it. Good as new, actually I think it looks better than new. It makes the city a little bit better. I know this is still a pretty new idea and it’s blowing peoples minds, but I believe in it and I’m trying to get some corporate funding to keep going with it.” Walt has set up a website for interested parties http://www.microfurb.com MICRO-REFURBISHING: THINK SMALL, THEN THINK SMALLER

the bolt that Walt refurbished

Lucas makes changes to Star Wars yet again.

A&P Press, Roy Staiger

LucasFilms has confirmed rumors that changes will be made to the upcoming release of “Star Wars: The Complete Saga” on Blu-Ray. The change that is igniting the most outrage on internet sites is having Darth Vader (now voiced by Alan Alda) yelling “Noooo!” when the Emperor (digitally re-enhanced to resemble Dick Cheney) is trying to kill Luke (who now has blue skin and antennas). Other changes include Princess Leia being re-voiced by Monique and the Yoda character is now a talking dog (voiced by comedian Gilbert Gottfried). In a statement Lucas says in part “Yes there are some small changes to the films but they are made to enhance the Star Wars experience.”

Hurricane Cleanup reprint: Spooning with de Kooning

[We’re cleaning up after the hurricane and I didn’t have any time to write anything, this is a reprint of my first blog]

Spooning with de Kooning

DVD Corner:
The Criterion DVD Collection has just released the entire television series of the groundbreaking show “Spooning with de Kooning”. A short lived weekly interview program on the old Dumant Network in 1957. The show featured famed artist Willem de Kooning interviewing celebrities and newsworthy figures of the day while spooning them in an oversized bed. Shocking and controversial at the time it only lasted for 18 weeks. Disc one of the DVD features all 18 interviews, including those with Marlon Brando, Peggy Lee, Douglas MacArthur, Eleanor Roosevelt, and Robert Frost. Disc two which has bonus features including the complete uncensored interview between De Kooning and The Kingston Trio and a recent interview with pianist Dave Brubeck who wrote the theme music. The double disc also includes an extensive booklet with many recently unearthed photos and a New Yorker interview with de Kooning that was conducted right after the show was canceled.

de Kooning

Second Acts: Mikhail Gorbachev

Excerpted from an article in The Manhattaner Magazine (May, 2011)
by Joel Youngblood
Mikhail Gorbachev, famous for bringing democratization or “Glasnost” to the USSR is puttering around his kitchen making a frozen pizza or more specifically a “Gorby’s” frozen pizza. “Here taste this, is there enough garlic on it?”. Since his retirement from politics Mr. Gorbachev has gone into the frozen food business. “I was at loose ends after I left government and I got to thinking…and it was something Reagan said in his Brandenburg Gate speech. Everyone just remembers Mr. Gorbachev. Tear down this wall! but there was a lot more to it, Reagan actually read a list of things for me to do in that speech.” Gorbachev pulls out a crumpled piece of paper and read the list:
Mr. Gorbachev. Tear down this wall!
Mr. Gorbachev. Check the batteries in your smoke alarms twice a year!
Mr. Gorbachev. Separate Your recycling!
Mr. Gorbachev. If you have avocado’s, store them in a paper bag!
Mr. Gorbachev. Develop frozen foods that taste good!
“Well I got to thinking that maybe I could make frozen foods that are not only tasty but affordable and…and this is the tough part, nutritious as well. So I started Gorby’s Frozen Foods and business is good it’s not where I want it to be…but I have a five year plan.”

Gorbachev

Hotel Promotion Backfires

A&P Press, Joe Pignatano

One of the largest hotel chains in the world the London based AH Hotels Corporation (AHHC) has canceled it’s new promotion featuring a cartoon character called Fred Bug the Bed Bug after only one week. “The response was swift and brutal” says new head of promotions, Felix Milan “I’m not sure what the reasoning was behind Fred Bug in the first place. I’ve found cryptic notes left by my predecessor, Rube Walker. He was old and somewhat confused and thought that all the press about bedbugs in hotels was a good thing. His plan was to give a face and a name to the bedbugs. Well, unfortunately for us he did”. As of last week AH stock was down 20%

Fred Bug the Bed Bug

Movie Trivia

Actor Wesley Snipes In a last ditch effort to pay over due taxes before going to jail, opened a chain of shoe stores in Germany. The stores, Snipes shoes used to just sell black shoes, with ads featuring a photo of Wesley Snipes from the film Passenger 57 with the quote “Always bet on black”. With their limited color selection the stores did poorly and Snipes sold his interest in the business.

Snipes Shoes

ad for Snipes Shoes