Archive for April 28th, 2015

I Hate Me part 523,981

[Two for Tuesday]

1)

It was a busy day at work but not busy in normal way. A lot of questions were just partial ones, like I was on a gameshow:
Willieeeee?
…uhhhh…Nelson?
Yes!…I’m sure you know the one I want…..
greatest hits?
no nono…the good one…
DING! DING! DING! DING!, Congratulations! you have won the chance to help a customer who only has a vague idea what they’re looking for!
Red Headed Stranger, that’s a good one.
…ummm no…
well, he does have a lot of albums. Can you remember a song…maybe it was Whiskey River?
noooooo…………ummmmmm………….it’s Ring of Fire
That’s Johnny Cash
hmmmmm…..that doesn’t sound right……
Well, that’s all I got.
[heavy sigh]…ok…lemme check to see if that’s ok…
He left the store having an animated conversation on his phone.

2)

Then there was a couple who were selling a mandolin but they didn’t tell me what it was to start with
I got something I wanna sell.
Ok, what ya got. Cd’s, Albums instruments?
Lemme show ya
Takes out a giant I-phone, starts poking at it
where are those pictures?
(wife) they’re on there.
If you’re selling an instrument, I can get you the right person to talk to
Hold on, hold on lemme show ya…goddamn it where are those pictures
I don’t know anything about instruments. I’ll get you the right guy to talk to
Hold on…here.
shows me a blurry photo of a top of a headstock with some writing
Nice…what is it?
Hold on…look
Shows more of the headstock and part of the neck, it’s a mandolin
Very nice…I know nothing about mandolin’s. Let me get you the right guy.
wait…wait…here
Another picture, it’s like a slow reveal striptease of this guys mandolin.
Like I said, let me get you the right guy for buying this.
Oh, I don’t want to sell it
But you said you wanted to sell it
Oh, but not now. I just wanted to show you.
Oh…thanks
It’s a nice one isn’t it
…yeah

not that kind of mandolin

not that kind of mandolin