I Hate Me, part 523,991

(note:I think this happened in 81 or 82. I just finished Be Stiff:The Stiff Records Story by Richard Balls (surprisingly not a fake name) and it reminded me of this story)

When I was younger for some reason I was convinced that if you went to the offices of record companies and asked for free stuff you would get a ton of cool things. I have no idea what made me think that, I don’t know anybody that it ever happened to but I was convinced. So  I talked my brother and a friend into going up to New York, I sold it to them as a chance to go to McSorley’s Ale House which was an exotic destination for a bunch of knuckle draggers from Keansburg. Once we got up there and had a few rounds I was going to get some free stuff (nobody used the word “swag” then) from record companies, they owed me. We got into Manhattan drank a bit and then went to Swan Song Records, I was a big Led Zeppelin fan and I figured they’d have, posters, stickers, badges, maybe even a small replica of The Object (from the album Presence) just for the fans who cared enough to make the trip. We lasted about 5 seconds in the Swan Song offices. Three drunken oafs demanding free stuff was not what anybody there wanted to see and we were brusquely shown the door. The next and last stop was Stiff Records, whose office was much smaller but the result was the same. I did manage to steal the sign off of their door, so I had something to show for the day besides a hangover.
Stiff sign

  1. I’m about to crack that book myself. Balls, indeed. You’d need a ponderous pair with a name like that.

    • Spank
    • March 11th, 2015

    You think Richard Balls is bad? His old name used to be Pecker McScrotumsacks.

    • eyeball
    • March 14th, 2015

    Is McSorleys the bar that was about a block away (or hell maybe directly across the street,it’s been a while) from MSG? I remember drinking six pitchers of beer there before a Pink Floyd show in ’87 with a friend and buying 4 hits of acid outside MSG. Friend didn’t want his so I ate all four and needless to say I lost friend at intermission, and wound up “snapping to” and getting off train in Perth Amboy, 2 stops past Rahway and then walking in an acid stupor all the way home. Thanks for serving minors McSorleys. Strange to remember a night and not remember same night.

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