Reprint: Baby New Year meets Old Man Old Year

[note: this is a reprint of something I did 5 years ago. I changed the dates to make it more topical. It was submitted to the “Incredibly short and extremely stupid- play festival” but was not accepted. Any theatre company wishing to perform this play, please contact the author]

Baby New Year meets Old Man Old Year

[Backstage: Baby New year; top hat, diapers, 2015 sash. Old Man Old Year; top hat diapers, 2014 sash.]

Baby New Year (BNY)-Make way granpa, hot stuff comin’ thru.

Old Man Old Year (OMOY)-Pffffffffffft! Old Man!? I’m 12 months old.

BNY-Sure, that’s great. Move it along old timer.

OMOY-See this sash, it says 2014. Why would an old man be wearing a top hat, diapers and a 2014 sash.

BNY-Mmmmmm I dunno, you’re senile and you shit your pants.

OMOY– Grrrrrrrrr, I’ll shit YOUR pants, boy!

BNY– You’ll shit MY pants, what the fuck does that mean.

OMOY-Look you little asshole have some respect…

BNY– (a dull stare)

OMOY-…gaze upon me for this is your future young one, this is what twelve long months does to you.

BNY-Greeeeaaaaat…are you done flappin’ those old gums.

OMOY– yeah, I guess so…Hey, is there still an open bar.

BNY-Jesus, I’m A FUCKING BABY, I don’t drink, I don’t know if there’s an open bar, I don’t care if there’s an open bar, ok?. Christ look at the time, I gotta go.

OMOY-For fucks sake, can I get a goddamned drink around here!
Baby_New_Year_Frame

    • Spank
    • January 1st, 2015

    Happy New Year everybody ……. even you too Tiina, wherever you are !!!

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