I hate me, part 498,400

Carrie has these hair claws for her hair(she calls them “hair clips”), when she leaves them around I like to open them up as wide as they can and act like they are giant marauding spiders, complete with sound effects (hurrrrrr…gggraaahhhhh…). Sunday night as we were watching TV there was one on the coffee table and I decided to impress her with my homemade transformer. “Look, this hair thing is a giant spider…Grrrrrrr….graahhHHHHHH!”. She gave me a look that could be roughly translated as “I can’t believe I married this idiot man-child”, “Look out! Giant spider…Aaauugghhhhh!” And then SNAP, I broke the giant spider/hair claw but not in half, it was just crooked, unusable but still whole. I cast a sidelong glance at Carrie to see if she was paying attention, she was. I slowly put it down
I’ll get you a new one
..you know it does kind of look like a giant spider
And they’re a lot more dangerous when they’re wounded, so be careful.


    • Spank
    • April 24th, 2014

    Are you sure that’s not one of those monster like Australian spiders that found it’s way into your luggage, then died from the odoriferous odor of your dirty laundry, and then became petrified ??

  1. Have you tried sticking forks in two dinner rolls and making them do a little dance? That was always a hoot in 1916.

    • foxycotic
    • April 25th, 2014

    I would have big difficulties to discard the clip – it’s no longer a useless broken hair claw, it’s a living wounded spider. Insured because of me!
    I’m sure I would find a drawer where it could live on…

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