I Hate Me, part 390,008/I LIKE RECORDS 81

An over cologned heavy set guy in his thirties dressed in oversized basketball gear brought in a small stack of cd’s to sell. He was loudly talking on his phone while trying to communicate with me through a series of nods and shrugs.
Guy-”yeah, yeah, yeah I’m sellin’ cd’s…yeah you know I don’t like girls…no no no! I LIKE girls but I don’t like…uh real skinny ones..but ah..ya know I don’t like BIG girls.. yeah….uh.. what?!…nonono…no…I ain’t…no, I ain’t shallow…no..look I’ll be honest with you, I’m real smart…I’m into stuff….Yeah, I know I’m big…but I’m…it ain’t..no it ain’t the same…I’m like uh…like a football player…or somethin’…yeah…like that…that kind a big…”
It took me about five seconds to know we couldn’t use any of his cd’s, mostly scratchy Eminem and Limp Bizkit titles but I wanted to hear where his conversation was going.
Me- “sorry man, I can’t use any of these”
Guy- “…hold on ok….(to me)…really bro?!…none of ‘em…can’t use none of ‘em…bro?…c’mon…Bizkit, bro, Bizkit”
I shrugged my shoulders with my palms up, the international sign of “sorry man, can’t help you” and then I vanished into the back room.

"Bizkit, bro. Bizkit"

“Bizkit, bro. Bizkit”

    • galbacco
    • November 4th, 2013

    I don’t blame you, that “Bizkit, bro. Bizkit” sure is limp…

    • the artist formely known as Tiina
    • November 4th, 2013

    He sounds real sexy!

  1. I know that being “into stuff” is a prerequisite for membership in MENSA.

    • Rich Walter
    • November 5th, 2013

    Hahahaha awesome

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