I Hate Me, part 311,998
I just got a new phone. I use the alarm on the phone to wake me up in the morning. I set up the alarm on the new phone forgetting that the old phone was still on. This morning Carrie had to get up and leave the house really early so I was left without an alarm safety net (“we should get up”). So the new phone alarm went off, seconds later the old phone which I had put on a shelf across the room went off. Normally if I was more awake I would’ve handled it with the customary aplomb I’m known for. I knocked the new phone off of the bedstand where it got swallowed up by a stack of books, so in a triage moment I went to the shelf where I proceeded to knock the old phone off it and it fell behind a pile of records, “MAHP,MAHP,MAHP,MAHP…”, “EEE, EEE, EEE, EEE…”. I took me about 20 minutes (actual time 20 seconds) to find and turn off both alarms but I was awake.