I Hate Me, Part 391,881

Went to Foodtown, it was late, they were closing in twenty minutes. I’m not there two minutes when this old guy sidles up to me:
“hey, you work at Jack’s, right?” (I’m wearing a Jack’s shirt)
“I gotta tell ya something…about two years ago I went in…I was lookin’ at the rap stuff…ya know all that anti-cop stuff…I wanted to see what they were sayin’…cause my uncle he was a detective..and I…I work with…ya know the law too. So I was lookin’ and one of the.. ya know security stickers was coverin’ the price…so I took it off to see what you guys were chargin’ for that anti-cop rap stuff…and this guy who works there thought I was stealin’ and I said I ain’t stealin’ my uncle was a detective…”
[He was now fumbling with his wallet and managed to drop everything out of it. Time is wasting and unless I disappear in a puff of smoke I’m fucked]
“Look I have his I.D. right here…No that’s not it..uh….I must have left it home…but I got it…really.”
“Look man, I don’t know what to tell you, I wasn’t there…whoever was working was just doing his job…and they’re closing up here and I got a bunch of shit I gotta buy.”
“Yeah but I wasn’t stealin’…I’m in law enforcement…and my uncle…my uncle was a detective…”
I shrugged my shoulders and took off. I made a mad dash and got everything all the while looking around my law enforcement friend. I made it to the paper goods aisle where I was picking up some paper towels and I heard
“loook…I still got the receipts from that day…I didn’t steal nothin’…”
“Ok..you got receipts…and…look man…this isn’t really the time or place for this…”
“Yeah but..”
I fled before he could continue, or maybe he did continue but I was out of earshot and even though I had more then the suggested 10 items I figured my need (to flee the golem) gave me the right to flaunt shopping market etiquette. I got out without seeing him again.

not my Foodtown

not my Foodtown

    • spank
    • September 20th, 2013

    I ain’t stealin’ my uncle was a detective

    Right, and I’m not planning to be a evil scumbag, my uncle is a politician.

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