Archive for September, 2013

I Hate Me, part 322,917

Carrie has been away for the week visiting her sister, which just leaves me and the Duchess (as we’ve been calling Lucy). So, I was by myself and painting the town beige which mainly consisted of being at home watching the Mets crawl to the end of another season. The dog for her part just stared at the window with the saddest face an animal could make (yes, that includes the Canadian Grief Fox) waiting for my wife to come home and giving me the dog equivalent look of “mom doesn’t do it that way”. Everything went pretty well until this morning’s walk. I always bring a bag to pick up the Duchess’s “leavings” and since my pockets are usually filled with random pieces of paper there’s enough for any extra’s that she’s willing to leave. Unfortunately today she was, I don’t know any better way to say it, a shitting machine. I used up the bag and all the pocket paper in the first fifteen minutes. I tried to get to where they might be big trees with big leaves for a natural shit collection fix but I wasn’t so lucky. A friend of mine gave me a couple of old baseball cards last night. Two 1980 cards, Bill Caudill and Mick Kelleher (both Cubs) and as I was reduced to using those two cards to scoop up more shit. We finally got about a block from home and Lucy did this circle around the stagecoach thing she does before she goes, and gave me a “hey, I don’t like this either” look and went one last time. There was nothing left to use, so I ended up using a dollar bill (In some circles this might be considered a political statement). So I walked the rest of the way home gingerly holding shit covered baseball cards and a dollar bill, hoping I wouldn’t see anybody I knew.

a card like this made the ultimate sacrifice

a card like this made the ultimate sacrifice

Sunday Music 9/29/13

The Hills-Bring Me Sand
Spacey Swedish krautrock psych. This is from a reissue of their second album Master Sleeps (Rocket Records, 2013). It originally came out in 2011 and quickly went out of print. I was late to this band, thanks to the guys from Goat for turning me onto this. The Hills also came out with a live album this year on the Cardinal Fuzz label, which is a really good label for psych.

R-150-4905989-1379279586-8191

Graphis Annual 65/66, part 2

Here’s some more ads and stuff from the 1965-66 Graphis Annual [Click on image to enlarge]

Belgium, artist- Charles Rohonyi

Belgium, artist- Charles Rohonyi

United Kingdom, artist-Woudhuysen Design Group

United Kingdom, artist-Woudhuysen Design Group

United Kingdom, artist-Woudhuysen Design Group

United Kingdom, artist-Woudhuysen Design Group

U.S.A., artist Mary Beresford

U.S.A., artist Mary Beresford

U.S.A., artist Tomi Ungerer

U.S.A., artist Tomi Ungerer

U.S.A., artist-Andre Francois

U.S.A., artist-Andre Francois

United Kingdom, artists-David Mawford/John Harrison

United Kingdom, artists-David Mawford/John Harrison

United Kingdom, Advertisement in the back of the annual for advertising

United Kingdom, Advertisement in the back of the Graphis Annual for advertising

United Kingdom, artist-Bob Gill

United Kingdom, artist-Bob Gill

U.S.A., artists-Merle James/Robert Staples. Illustration from a NBC booklet about The Alfred Hitchcock Hour

U.S.A., artists-Merle James/Robert Staples. Illustration from an NBC booklet about The Alfred Hitchcock Hour

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Graphis Annual 65/66, part 1

From the International Yearbook of Advertising Art 1965/66, published by Visual Communication Books [click on image to enlarge]

Switzerland, artist-Elso Schiavo

Switzerland, artist-Elso Schiavo

Switzerland, artist-Walter Grieder

Switzerland, artist-Walter Grieder

Switzerland (road safety poster), artist-Hans Hartmann

Switzerland (road safety poster), artist-Hans Hartmann

France, artist-Bernard Villemot

France, artist-Bernard Villemot

German, artist-Herbert Leupin

German, artist-Herbert Leupin

U.S.A., artist-Tom Ungerer

U.S.A., artist-Tomi Ungerer

U.S.A.,-Tom Ungerer

U.S.A.,-Tomi Ungerer

United Kingdom, artist-Jan Pienkowski

United Kingdom, artist-Jan Pienkowski

Germany, artist-Helfried Hagenberg

Germany, artist-Helfried Hagenberg

Israel, artist-Cyla Menusy

Israel, artist-Cyla Menusy

U.S.A., artist-Tomi Ungerer

U.S.A., artist-Tomi Ungerer

U.S.A., artist-Tomi Ungerer

U.S.A., artist-Tomi Ungerer

Japan, artist-Gunji Maki

Japan, artist-Gunji Maki

 

 

Bit of a reach

I was sitting in the backyard this morning. Half asleep, enjoying my first cup of coffee. Thinking about how I would spend the hundred’s of millions of dollars from the Power-Ball Lottery drawing that I didn’t play, maybe my brother or close relative hit it and would give me millions. While lost in my megalomaniacal daydream I looked over at the back of a house a few doors away and it looked like Hanna-Barbera cartoon character made into a house or the head of a big, square, angry duck…with a hat. I might need more sleep or coffee, I’m not sure which. [click on photo to enlarge]
flintstone house

I Hate Me, Part 391,881

Went to Foodtown, it was late, they were closing in twenty minutes. I’m not there two minutes when this old guy sidles up to me:
“hey, you work at Jack’s, right?” (I’m wearing a Jack’s shirt)
“…yeeeeaaaah…”
“I gotta tell ya something…about two years ago I went in…I was lookin’ at the rap stuff…ya know all that anti-cop stuff…I wanted to see what they were sayin’…cause my uncle he was a detective..and I…I work with…ya know the law too. So I was lookin’ and one of the.. ya know security stickers was coverin’ the price…so I took it off to see what you guys were chargin’ for that anti-cop rap stuff…and this guy who works there thought I was stealin’ and I said I ain’t stealin’ my uncle was a detective…”
[He was now fumbling with his wallet and managed to drop everything out of it. Time is wasting and unless I disappear in a puff of smoke I’m fucked]
“Look I have his I.D. right here…No that’s not it..uh….I must have left it home…but I got it…really.”
“Look man, I don’t know what to tell you, I wasn’t there…whoever was working was just doing his job…and they’re closing up here and I got a bunch of shit I gotta buy.”
“Yeah but I wasn’t stealin’…I’m in law enforcement…and my uncle…my uncle was a detective…”
I shrugged my shoulders and took off. I made a mad dash and got everything all the while looking around my law enforcement friend. I made it to the paper goods aisle where I was picking up some paper towels and I heard
“loook…I still got the receipts from that day…I didn’t steal nothin’…”
“Ok..you got receipts…and…look man…this isn’t really the time or place for this…”
“Yeah but..”
I fled before he could continue, or maybe he did continue but I was out of earshot and even though I had more then the suggested 10 items I figured my need (to flee the golem) gave me the right to flaunt shopping market etiquette. I got out without seeing him again.

not my Foodtown

not my Foodtown

a most unflattering shirt

This is one of the most unflattering shirts in the history of rock. Not stupid, not ridiculous, just unflattering. It’s on the back of Janis Joplin-Pearl [click on image in enlarge]
janis dashboard

I Hate Me, part 301,725

Why I’m washing my money

I went to Foodtown a couple of nights ago, paid with my bankcard and got $15 cash back. I didn’t realize it but the $5 and the $10 had what I think (hope) was a bit of gum on them. Really tiny but enough to have them stuck together. I didn’t find this out until I was on line at Starbucks on Saturday. ICK! they’re stuck together. I didn’t want to pay for the coffee with sticky money because I didn’t want to be known as the guy who paid with sticky money.
“you know that guy from Jacks, well he paid this morning with a five that was sticky.”
“Ewww…throw it out.”
“I did”
Then I was going to switch it out from the register at work but if the money is sticky, it might stick to other money in the drawer and we’d give out too much change and the drawer would be short and I’d be fired and then I’d have to live under a bridge somewhere like a troll. So that was out. So I figured, wash the money. I sprayed it with Windex my go to clean anything savior (from counter tops to small cuts and everything in between). It didn’t take off the gum, just spread it around a bit so it was actually more sticky. Fuck! so I went with hand sanitizer, because why not. I spread the bills out on the back counter drenched them in hand sanitizer and wiped them down with a paper towel, as I was doing this, Jack (the owner) walked by
Jack-What are you doing?
Me-Washing money (like it was the most obvious thing in the world)
Jack-(looked at me, at the money and back at me )……oh…
He started to say something thought better of it and walked away. The hand sanitizer didn’t work, so I just figured out the parts of the bills that were sticky and put clear tape over them. Another signpost on my descent into senility.
SO001360

 

I Hate Me, part 390,174

I have probably griped about uncomfortableness of the “double goodbye” before but here goes again. There’s a guy who used to drop off a free weekly newspaper, we’d have a brief conversation that mainly consists of a head nod and “hey”, I guess calling it a conversation is charitable. He came by a while ago with his pile of newspapers. I was at the back counter pricing a giant stack of records.
Me-hey
Guy- it’s my last week….(unblinking stare)
Me-oh..uh…wow…greener pastures?
Guy-no, I’m quittin’…
He proceeded to give me a laundry list of the reasons, he was being fucked over by the paper and he’d had enough. I felt bad for him but I hardly knew him and didn’t really know what to say outside of trite supportive slogans. I think I ended it with,
Me- yeah man… Stay strong…good luck…yeah…I’m sure I’ll see you around.
Guy-yeah, ok…see ya
I thought that was it, he went up front to drop off the papers. He usually goes out the front door to drop off the next batch if papers across the street, I went back to pricing records. Next thing I know he’s walking towards the back counter.
Guy-alright…they’re gonna send another guy next week…probably…
Me-(this conversation was over, the goodbyes were already said, aughhhh.)…alllllright then…um…err…still good luck…and uh…good luck…and….uh take care…
The phone rang and I answered it before the girl who was working the front could and he left. I’ve been on both sides of the “double goodbye” and there are no winners.

a picture of a rock that looks like a loaf of bread or a picture of a loaf of bread that's very very stale. You decide

a picture of a rock that looks like a loaf of bread or a picture of a loaf of bread that’s very very stale. You decide.