Notes from Das Boot 181

8/16/13 Bodo,Norway, Parken Fest
We were driving for quite a while and no interweb access, so here’s a few I wrote on the way

8/15/13 still en route on ferry to Norway 12:30am
Calling home costs a lot of money. I buy cheap SIM cards and use them on a cheap phone or I Skype on my iPad . As a last resort, I’ll use my regular phone (as readers of this blog some of you might remember that I have an old cel phone, that’s not very smart. I mentioned it in a post entitled “Satan courts the Duchess” ). So I’m on the ferry and they have Internet access for a a few euros and I thought, it’s a long ferry ride and I’d like to call home and get a needed dose of normalness. So I found a secluded area and I skyped Carrie. It was a terrible connection but I didn’t want to give up, because I really like talking with my wife. Outside of the “I miss you’s” and stuff like that, it’s just something I enjoy doing (Jesus, that reads so fucking dumb but I don’t know any other way to say it). Anyhow it was a train wreck
Carrie: hello…..hello…Tim?
Me: yeah…hey……..hey babe
(I can hear my voice two or three seconds delayed and distorted, so we’re stepping on what the other one is saying)
Carrie:heyyyy….hello?…..hello?
Me: yeah…can you hear me...
-SILENCE-
Carrie/Me (same time)…no..not reallyCan you...I can only hear every other...What..whathey…notno…Can you?
Carrie: Fuck...
So I start walking around, think that I’ll find a sweet spot, and my voice keeps getting louder. So much so that I’m starting to get looks from the other passengers. But I’m not gonna give up
Me: Hey! …..Is this any better!
Carrie: no…I can only hear every other word
Me: IS THIS ANY BETTER !
Carrie: No! You’re loud…but the connection still sucks
Me:fuck it, I’ll call you later
Carrie…what?
Carrie/Mecallcall laterfuckfuck.
-CLICK-

8/15/13, 300km south of Trondheim, Norway 2:30pm
Well, we are only three hours away from being eighteen hours away. It is beautiful up here but ask me again in eight hours and I’m sure I won’t care about the beauty of the back roads of Norway. Sitting in the front lounge is about the most solitary place on the bus outside of the bunks. Somebody is having an A-Team marathon in the back lounge, I can hear the theme music waft thru the bus like an aural stench. Man, I hate the fucking A-Team.

8/15/13 200km north of Trondheim, Norway 10pm
We are on some crazy reindeer path that is doubling as the main road. Fucking hell, is this some rough goddamn driving. We’ve been going for nearly 48 hours. That truckstop hot dog wrapped in bacon I got a few hours ago isn’t sitting well, what a surprise. I hate everything.

8/16/13 5km south of Bodo, Norway 7:30am
Almost here, crossed the arctic circle a couple of hours ago. Even though the ride has been pretty brutal (almost 55 hours) it is amazingly beautiful up here, indescribably so. Blurry photos through a bug splattered windshield don’t do it justice.

20130816-124812.jpg
Like I said, this does not do it justice

    • spank
    • August 16th, 2013

    I skyped Carrie ….it was a train wreck

    Perfect opportunity to break out your Lou Gehrig farewell speech imitation …. comedy is all about timing.

    that reads so fucking dumb but I don’t know any other way to say it

    You should write for Hallmark, stumbling and bumbling your thoughts on a card is the new sexy.

    Somebody is having an A-Team marathon ….. I can hear the theme music …… Man, I hate the fucking A-Team

    I set that gag up with some of the guys just to piss you off …. I love it when a plan comes together.

    That truckstop hot dog wrapped in bacon I got a few hours ago isn’t sitting well, what a surprise

    I once ate a dirty water dog at Shea, and it sat with me for three days ….. nothing like eating a dog on Saturday and burping and tasting greezy hot dog all the way until Tuesday ….. wasn’t enough Tums in the world, my friend.

    Metsies were just at LA, they make such a big deal out of their “Dodger Dogs” (hey, let’s re-name a plain $2 hot dog and charge $5 !!), I remember Gary once asked Ron Darling if he ever had one, and he said “I ate one once, and I’ve never had another since” ….. the way he said it, you just knew that dirty water dog gave him the squirts.

    Howie Rose was eating one on the air the other night, wolfed it down and didn’t miss a beat with his calls ….. Josh said Howie’s hot dog eating looked like a log going into a wood chipper.

    ———————————————–

    Coming home soon, y’all have a safe flight and I see you then.

    P.S. I’m missing some specimens for my “bugs of the world” collection …. could you scrap a few off the bus windshield and bring them back for me ??

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