Reprint: the woes of Ike Davis

[This is a reprint from last year when Ike Davis had a terrible start to his year, much like the start he’s having this year]


A&P Press 6/11/12
by Eddie Yost

The New York Mets are vigorously denying reports concerning a grisly solution to first baseman Ike Davis’s hitting woes. Davis, in his third year was once one of the bright spots in the Mets organization but health issues and an anemic batting average (.167) are troubling.
The shocking rumors state that a ritualistic sacrifice of ex-Met hero and current SNY television announcer Keith Hernandez was considered. Furthermore, Hernandez’s skin was to be fashioned into an unholy uniform for Davis to wear. The hopes being that this would appease the fickle baseball Gods and turn Davis’s season around.
An anonymous source close to the situation said in part, “Yeah, they (the Mets) talked to Hernandez’s people about the sacrifice thing…you know make a big deal out of it, giant stone alter in center field, fire works.. a real event. Of course his (Hernandez’s) people were not into it, at all. Frankly they were appalled..bad scene…believe me, the Metsie’s are gonna need to mend a lot of fences there. But Christ, they gotta do something. Management would be happy if Davis was hitting as good as (Ed) Kranepool or even Tim Harkness.”

'nuff said

’nuff said


    • spank
    • April 26th, 2013

    Don’t Like Ike ….. Keith once asked Dave Hudgens why he has Ike standing so far off the plate, and Dave told him “Ike is on his own”. Too good to take advice, eh?? Rumors of a entitled, spoiled brat abound on Mets message boards. Ike strikes out, swinging at pitches in the dirt, and what does he do?? He constantly argues with the umps, like it’s their fault he’s striking out swinging at crap pitches. Also, Mets were, and still are, afraid to send Ike down when he deserves it, because they don’t wanna hear his bitching, yet they sent down Duda last year, who was hitting way better than Ike. Duda’s quiet, he’s not a problem child, that’s why he got screwed. Ike should have been sent down and Duda should have gone back to his natural position ….. hell, even Keith said he needed to be sent down, saying “I was sent down too, got focused, and never looked back”.

    Valley Fever last year? Bullshit, Mets called it when they questioned his “late night activities”, which translates to Ike being hung over all first half of last season. When Ike started banging out homers months later, in a interview he dropped the line “I haven’t had a beer in months” when asked about Mets statement about his off field activities. Mmmmmm, who the fuck says “I haven’t had a beer in months” and why do they say that?? What’s the problem this year, the Rockie Mountain Sniffles??

    Ever notice Ike squints a lot at the plate? Probably wearing contacts that are dried out from infield dirt, and the quints are for lubrication. Ike’s Dad wore thick glasses when he played, and Ike likely inherited his Dad’s poor eyesight. Also probably the reason he stands so far from plate, don’t wanna get beaned from a pitch he can’t see. Pride goeth before the fall, start wearing glasses like dear old Dad …… shit, even Rick “Wild Thing” Vaughn went to the glasses.

    Don’t Like Ike ….. put Duda back to first, trade Ike to the American League for some prospects before you gotta start paying this guy millions. Just like Harvey is starting to look like the next Seaver, Ike is turning into nothing more than the next Dave Kingman ….. and at least Kingman hit over the Mendoza line.

    Rant off, Let’s Go Mets !!!

    • spank
    • April 30th, 2013
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