I Hate Me, part 293,341

How long is the half life on embarrassment? I went in to Starbucks and ordered a tall red eye (translation: a small coffee with a shot of espresso added). I go in there a lot so they know my name which is fine but lately all the baristas have name tags and not printed out name tags, they look like tiny chalk boards with their names scrawled on them. They are pretty hard to read and I am terrible at names. And it’s creepy to stare at a name tag on someones chest, a person whose name I probably should know by now. So I’m a little uncomfortable with that. Anyhow, I make non-specific small talk and move to the end of the line and wait. I got a couple of what I thought were strange looks from the baristas which I chalked up to me being paranoid or my hair which has taken on decidedly mad scientist look when not properly combed (which is often). I got my coffee and was headed back to work. There’s a guy who sits out in front of Starbucks and solicits money for various causes, he’s a nice enough guy and when I have a little extra cash I’ll give a donation and we’ll exchange pleasantries.
Guy- Hey..uh you got something…your..uh your nose, man..take care of it.
Me- (aaugh!) hehheh… thanks…yeah a bat in the batcave…uuhhhhh….
I pulled out a tissue and went over to a nearby abandoned storefront to see what kind of horror was sticking out of my nose…and Oh My God, it looked like a nose version of the chestburster from the movie Alien. I had this fucking monstrosity sticking out of my nose the entire time I was in Starbucks, I’m figuring at least a week before I can go back.

Think of this slightly smaller and coming out of my nose

Think of this slightly smaller and coming out of my nose

  1. Tim , if you ever have something sticking out of your nose again, I will definitely tell you. I have done that on many occasions, never wanting my friends to be so embarrassed, and always hoping it adds to my karmic bank. (that is, if I had snot, I would be told by friend or stranger!)

    • galbacco
    • April 1st, 2013

    Priceless…

    • spank
    • April 2nd, 2013

    Exposed dessicated nasal secretions are snot funny ….. so let’s not pick on Tim, because he will be feeling shameful the next time he boogies into Starfucks …..

    • Tiina
    • April 2nd, 2013

    You must be a legend at Starbuck’s…

    • spank
    • April 2nd, 2013

    Hey Tim, here’s a song dedicated especially for you:

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