I Hate Me, Part 110,572
I was running late, very late. I had to drop the car off with my wife before work but not before going to the post office and the hardware store. The post office is in a little strip mall, I got in and out really fast. Great. It was a windy day and as I was heading back to my car I saw a shopping cart from the Acme very slowly blowing across the parking lot towards my car. It was pretty far away, so I thought I could beat it. The smart thing would have been to walk over and put it into the conga line of shopping carts outside of the store. But no, it turned into some race against time doomsday scenario. Like a really terrible action movie. I got to the car, meanwhile cue the Jaws music as the cart slowly, inexorably wended it’s way towards my car. “C’mon start you piece of shit!”…..KLUNK…. “fuckingoddamnit!” Not only had the cart hit my car but it stopped behind it. I had to get out and move it. I was late for everything else all day.