Notes From Das Boot, 163
Prattlen, Switzerland 11/29/12
I don’t really buy a lot of stuff out here. I already have a lot of stuff I don’t want. This tour all I bought was a giant book on the artist Neo Rauch that was on sale and of course records (but not as much as I used to buy). Anyhow, my headphones started to go south a few days ago and I went and bought a new pair at Media Markt, Europe’s version of Best Buy. I found a pair of fairly inexpensive Sennheiser’s. Got back, I tried them out out. They sounded amazing, even to my tired, shot old ears. The only problem being that when I was taking them out of the box, I noticed that one headphone wire was a lot shorter than the other one. I had never seen this before. Not that I keep up with headphone advances (I let my subscription to Modern Headphone run out a few years ago.) so maybe it was a new style designed to cut down on the drag and co-efficient of modern hairstyles. Who knows, I didn’t. But maybe just maybe Sennheiser messed up and i got a fucked pair. So this morning I trudged back to Media Markt in the rain. I went at 9am, Switzerland is a hardworking country, they should be at work by 9. Fuck you, we open at 10am. 10!?, what are you America? I expect, demand an almost ruthless efficiency in Switzerland and opening at 10am isn’t gonna cut it. No sir. So I trudge back, have a cup of shitty hotel coffee, have another cup of shitty hotel coffee. It’s now a wintry mix of rain and snow. I’m running failure scenarios in my head of an unsuccessful headphone return, I have a third cup of shitty hotel coffee and trudge back. They’re open and I go to the info desk. The woman behind the counter is nice, but I have no idea what language they speak in this part of Switzerland, I’m guessing German but the guy at the hotel sounded distinctly French. So I start with ” hi, I don’t speak….uh…whatever you guys speak here…so please bear with me” and I bring out the headphones and the receipt. She sizes me up and does a chin stroke, “downstairs…parking lot…bring” and points at the headphones. I mimed “downstairs” which consisted of me pointing down and arching my eyebrow. Yes. I got to the parking lot and found the customer service department. I went in I explained my problem showed the receipt, all the packing and the headphones, which were a tangled mess by this point. I was trying to figure out this Gordon knot of wires and the guy just took it away from me and, zip zap it was untangled. “Now what is the problem?”, I showed him that one side was much longer than the other. He looked at me with the same look that PeeWee Herman got when he asked about “The basement in the Alamo“, kind of a stunned pause. “..yessss….they go behind the head, there’s nothing wrong with them” and he showed me, and it still didn’t really make a lot of sense.
Me: so they’re not defective?
Me: kind of a dumb design, no?
Guy: (did the shoulder shrug with an eye roll, that says “what do you want me to say”)
I went back to the hotel and had another cup of shitty coffee.