I Hate Me, part 200,882*/Storm 4

We still had no power and I was leaving for tour and feeling pretty shitty about leaving my wife literally in the dark. I was trying to leave the house a little less messy to assuage my guilt. Now for some reason I save all the old bills I pay, with the checks numbers or dates I paid it online, some of these are a couple of years old and I have a huge pile. So I wanted to get rid of them but since they had personal info on them I didn’t just want to throw them out so I took them to work to shred them. It shouldn’t have taken more then five minutes and my boss was at the bank so I wouldn’t be bothering him. I went to the office and set up the shredder and started. Halfway thru the first bill it froze up, made a weird gurgle and a red light went on. Jesus, I fuckin’ broke it. After I calmed down, I figured that maybe it just needed to be emptied. The bin was stuck and I couldn’t move it, I finally yanked it really hard and it kind of exploded open and a shower of shredded confetti went all over. It was a mess. “Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck…fuckfuckfuck….fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck” I started scrambling picking up the shredded paper, handfuls of the stuff. “GodfuckingdammitfuckfuckFUCK!” I was never gonna get this cleaned up before Jack got back and forget about shredding my own shit. Jack took longer than usual on his errands so I got it somewhat cleaned up and had some time so I shredded my stuff. I ended up spreading what was left of the shredded paper around the office with my feet. So the whole office looked just slightly shittier.

(*note: this was written before we got our power back after hurricane Sandy, we got it Friday November 9th at 6pm. (11 days) Of course if you’re reading this in the future, the “no power” comment  might not make much sense)

    • spank
    • November 12th, 2012

    So, I heard the power came on about 5 hours after you left for tour.

    What my wife would have said about me …. “You fucker, you should have left days ago.”

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