I Hate Me, part 166,670 / I LIKE RECORDS 71

There’s a crazy old man who comes into the store, actually there are a lot of crazy old men who come into the store this is just about one of them. He’s there for hours and asks odd questions about books and DVD’s and ends up buying a couple of books. He could be described as eccentric by someone with a bigger heart, I’ll stay with crazy.

Old Man-Every time I come here, I gotta go to the bathroom.

[As I walked to the bathroom to unlock it for him.]

Me-(non committal grunt)

Old Man-YEAH, EVERY TIME I COME IN HERE I GOTTA GO TO THE BATHROOM

Me-yeah, huh

OLD MAN-I SAID! EVERY TIME I COME INTO THIS STORE I GOTTA GO TO THE BATHROOM!!

Me-yeah, this store’ll do that to you

Old Man-What?

Me- nothin’ I was joking

Old Man-This store will make you do what?!

Me-Make you go to the bathroom.
Old Man-Really?!

Me-No,I was joking

Old Man-Do you really think the store makes me go to the bathroom?!

Me- No…no I don’t

Old Man- Well I gotta go bad

[we got to the bathroom and I unlocked the door for him]

Me-Alright then, have at it

Old Man- (as the door was closing) What?!

    • spank
    • September 27th, 2012

    Hey, who the hell you calling old Mister, you’re only one year younger than me …. and I only use the bathroom every other time I visit the store, so stop embellishing my toilet habits just so you can have something to write about on Ugh, and … uh …. what ?? ….. You were talking about some other crazy old guy ?? …. Sorry, my bad, you know how confused, agitated and paranoid us crazy old guys can get ….. especially when we gotta pee like a frickin’ race horse.

  1. i think i just passed a crabcake into my depends…

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