Reprint : Cable Chat

I have some horrible summer cold and feel awful, and I just watched the movie Contagion so I’m feeling a bit nervous as well. Here’s a reprint from way back in 2009:

 

Cable Chat
(Cable Chat is a discussion on cable TV shows and is not to be confused with Bridge Cable Chat a frank discussion on bridge building or Cable Stitch Chat our knitting forum. Sorry for any confusion.)

HBO is showing a great new documentary, Ted Williams!: There Goes the Greatest Hitter Who Ever Lived! which is filled with new information on what many pundits consider the greatest pure hitter baseball has produced.
Ted Williams nicknamed the Splendid Splinter (because of a giant 3 foot splinter that was removed from his back as a rookie) had a love/hate relationship with Boston where he played for the Red Sox from 1939-1960. During interviews with teammates Donald “Dandy” White, Jester Lee, and Cleveland Indians hall of fame pitcher Tommy “Earthquake” McGurk it was revealed that Williams would strangle a hobo as good luck before a home game and two or more before every road game. “It was just something that he did” says Dandy White “I always ate a good luck apple before a game but Ted had this thing about hobos. Sometimes when a playful mood struck him he’d skin a hobo and wear the skin as a suit. It was a grand prank and really loosened the fellas up. The only who didn’t like it was Jerry who was our clubhouse attendant and had to clean up hobo remains.” Indians pitcher Tommy “Earthquake” McGurk remembers “One day we were playing the Red Sox and Ted was in one of his foul tempers, it seemed like there wasn’t enough hobos to strangle to put him right. Well anyway it was the fifth inning and Ted went up to hit with no bat, nothin’, he just walked up to the plate and screamed TONIGHT, I AIN’T USIN’ A BAT and he punched the ball 400 ft for a home run. It was the damndest thing. I was only a little drunk at the time, so I’m pretty sure it happened.” Teammate Jester Lee reminisced “Ted was drunk one night on a drink he invented, he called it a Boston Baked Bean (10 parts whiskey, 1 baked bean, 5 parts whiskey, 1 rose petal, 6 parts whiskey (mull the baked bean and rose petal)) and he was sloshed and he said “When I die my progeny will cut off off my head and put it in a robot Ted Williams and he will be the greatest hitter forever, and he’ll do it without killing hobos”” Lee continued “Sometimes late at night Ted would get sad thinking about all the hobo’s he killed. Jesus, it must have been thousands. But it was a price he was willing to pay to be the best.”

HBO check local listings

    • spank
    • July 26th, 2012

    I was at that game when Ted punched the ball out for a home run … as he did his home run trot (he never ran them out, because those skin suits were pretty heavy), he punched out every position player as he went by, including the umpires and his first & third base coaches.

    • galbacco
    • July 26th, 2012

    Summer colds suck, they should be banished to the depths of January, right after New Year. Get well soon fellah…

    • dd
    • July 27th, 2012

    i think i need some big tim visual art aids to help me fully understand this story…. please & thank you.

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