I Hate Me, Part 288,003 (behind the scenes)

This morning I took our dog Lucy (aka: Lucy-tania) out for a walk. During the walk, Carrie called me and as I was answering the call I dropped the phone and the dog peed on it.

Today, we wanted to give you a behind the scenes look at how that delightful little anecdote was produced:
We here at UGH!/Feedtim Inc. work diligently to produce high quality mirthful stories. Over 400 people were employed to make today’s I Hate Me possible. While it’s true there is no real “Tim Cronin”, it takes close to fifty people to create the illusion that he’s an actual person. There are self-deprecation focus groups and workshops who work feverishly to come up with new and believable scenarios for us to use. Once a scenario is chosen (the main ones being: wife, dog, foodstore) it is “road tested” in informal discussion groups at diners and bars. If the scenario tests well it is fed into our computer, dubbed “The Laff-tron 500″ which has a program containing a wide range of comedy from every Ziggy cartoon to humorous observations by Dave Barry. The result is computer crafted “comedy” at it’s finest or near finest. Sure there’s been missteps, who can forget the ill advised virulent anti-Canadian screeds of the mid-nineties (we’re still banned there). How about the photos you see of “Tim”, “Carrie” and “The Dog” are they real? Yes, they are real but no, they are all paid actors. Here’s an interesting bit of trivia, the names “Tim and Carrie” were inspired by sixties weirdo/genius actor Timothy Carey.
So just like in the Wizard of Oz, we wanted to pull the curtain back and show you, our valued readers how the magic is made. Your welcome.

Paid dog actor. Here she is in the all dog version of Fiddler on the Roof


    • Sean Slattery
    • June 4th, 2012

    Even farther behind this veil of secrecy, there are actually people who frequent this site and believe that Tim Cronin was their childhood friend. I suspect this poor folks are also living within the confines of their own feeble minds. After all, how could one mortal man be so humorous? Not possible …

    • spank
    • June 4th, 2012

    Hey, look …. it’s that old Russian lady contemplating a chess move at the gulag again.

    • chris
    • June 4th, 2012

    i cant believe you guys are still using that old mainframe “laff-tron 500” system. with all the billions of dollars of revenue this blog generates yearly, you should have migrated to the iPHOOL with the joakster app by now. at least that way your employees could work at home and you could reduce the size of your staff.

  1. Now that all dog Fiddler on the Roof photo is hilarious!

    • spank
    • June 5th, 2012

    OK, I stopped reading after “We here at UGH!/Feedtim Inc. work diligently to produce high quality mirthful stories”, because there’s only so much bullshit I can handle in one day.

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