I Hate Me, part 247,109

I went to Starbucks last week to get a coffee, I ended up ordering a double espresso or “Doppio” as they are called. I’m kind of torn on that word. On the one hand it sounds kind of pretentious and highfalutin, on the other hand it’s kind of fun to say. I feel like a minor character in an opera and that’s my only line, it feels like it could be sung “Doppiooooooo!” Of course I’m not the type of person who could pull that off in a place I go to often. If I did sing the order I would have to tip heavily. I placed my order (non-singing), there was only one other person in the store and when their order came up, something along the lines of “Iced grande vanilla latte, half caf, with a shot of caramel and extra ice”, the woman asked the barrister, “Is that my order?” and then repeated back was was just said. Of course this annoyed me, I’m thinking “Do you really think that the only other person in the store order the exact same extremely personalized drink as you, Christ.” She left, I’m staring off into space still amazed/annoyed and I notice the small espresso cup placed in front of me. Now, I’m the only goddamned customer in the store and yet I heard myself instinctively ask,“Is this my doppio?”. Aauuughhh!

try singing it

  1. tell them you want the “california doppio, with extra jimmies” – that will surely bring you unwanted attention from the “hi-falootin”.

    • spank
    • May 31st, 2012

    You shouldn’t be drinking Starfucks, they are nothing but cancer merchants …. how much money a day do you spend for the privilege of them giving you cancer, maybe 5 or 10 bucks a day ??

    Try Chewlies gum instead …. you’ll thank me for it later.

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