I Hate Me, part 230,980

It was my day off and I was out running errands. Traffic is usually really shitty during the day so I was taking backroads as shortcuts. In reality my backroads shortcuts aren’t shortcuts all. My version of a shortcut usually just means I’m constantly moving. Even if it’s sometimes miles and minutes out of the way, as long as I’m not stuck in traffic. So I was driving down a two lane road and there was a tree crew cutting down some dead branches and one of the lanes was closed. There was a cop directing traffic. He had stopped me but there was no car on the other side and the tree people weren’t moving. So I waited and was wondering what the hold up was and was getting a little pissed. The cop started talking to one of the workers while looking my way, there’s still no other cars around. Then the cop starts describing something with his hands, either a wave or a hill. I don’t know what that means, I don’t know if it’s directed towards me, Is there a fucking tidal wave coming through, What!? And I waited. So I finally thought “fuck it, I’m just gonna go”. I started driving really really slow, the speedometer barely registered. I was looking at the cop as I was driving, nothing, was I in an invisible car? I was about even with him he took notice and waved me through. Thanks, I smiled and cursed him under my breath.

    • spank
    • May 3rd, 2012

    I’m pretty sure that flat foot was an Elvis fan … you mess with Elvis, and the Elvis 5th degree black belt karma karate kick will get you everytime.

    Go ahead, make some more Elvis collages …. fate dares you.

    • Chris Burns
    • May 5th, 2012

    In situations like this, the “STOP” – “GO” sign held by a worker is far more effective than the interpretive dance of the traffic cop.

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