I Hate Me, part 103,007

The dog (Lucy, aka Barkus Welby MD.) had given us a bit of a hard day. Early in the morning she had gotten out and made a run for it. She’s really fast and had gotten a few blocks away when a neighbor out for a walk mesmerized her with a set of jangling keys and we (and by we I mean Carrie) got her. The rest of the day she was tearing shit up and barking. Like her brief taste of freedom had altered her and she was in dog version of a prison movie, “Yaaah!…There hasn’t been a cheap gate made that can hold me..To hell with you screws…YaaaAARFARFARFARFarfarf!!” So later that night when we were going to bed, the dog was rolled up in her bed looking all cute and innocent. Now, I usually tease Carrie about talking in a overly cute way to the dog. Carrie said something about how Lucy really ran us through the wringer during the day and I for reasons I still can’t fathom adopted a cute sad “dog” voice and said “I’m sowwy”. Aaugh! What the fuck did I just say, I sounded like one of those horrible little figurines that have outstretched arms and say “I WUV YOU…THIS MUCH”. My “shame-ometer” went off the charts and I can never again give her shit for talking cute to the dog.

I hate me, this much


    • Yee Gads
    • May 1st, 2012

    Thanks, buddy. My testes are now pushing against my liver.

    • spank
    • May 1st, 2012

    Yeah, my doggie also looks cute and adorable, and acts like an angel … but that’s when she’s sleeping at night. During the day, she goes by the names of “stinky”, “rat”, “monster” and “gorilla face”.

    • fishbreath
    • May 1st, 2012

    ahhh, truly a “cringe-worthy moment” which in the future will be recalled in horror when you least expect it.

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