Archive for May, 2012


One of the odder phone calls I’ve gotten:
-Do You Have Curb Your Enthusiasm?
+Yes, we have seasons one thru seven.
-..mmmmm which one is the funniest?
+uh…I dunno…the first three seasons are pretty strong.
-Do you have the one with Leon and the Blacks
[This was the season 6 story arc. A family from New Orleans named the Blacks live with Larry after they were displaced by Hurricane Katrina]
+Yeah..we got that.
-How did the Blacks end up with Larry
[I explained the basic plot line.]
-Hmmm…cause you know a lot of blacks live with families in L.A.
+Uhhh….ehrrrm..uh I don’t …know…what…you’re…uh talking…
-You know…the mother…they call her mom, she does the cooking…and the man will drive the car…it’s hilarious
+Yeah…I don’t know about that
Well, I’m telling you…I know people out there…producers, directors…people…and they have families of blacks living in their houses working for them…whole families…it’s very funny…
+What’s funny…people working?
No silly…It’s just…it’s just like Larry David…hilarious…ok then, I’ll be down to look at your DVD’s

I Hate Me, part 247,109

I went to Starbucks last week to get a coffee, I ended up ordering a double espresso or “Doppio” as they are called. I’m kind of torn on that word. On the one hand it sounds kind of pretentious and highfalutin, on the other hand it’s kind of fun to say. I feel like a minor character in an opera and that’s my only line, it feels like it could be sung “Doppiooooooo!” Of course I’m not the type of person who could pull that off in a place I go to often. If I did sing the order I would have to tip heavily. I placed my order (non-singing), there was only one other person in the store and when their order came up, something along the lines of “Iced grande vanilla latte, half caf, with a shot of caramel and extra ice”, the woman asked the barrister, “Is that my order?” and then repeated back was was just said. Of course this annoyed me, I’m thinking “Do you really think that the only other person in the store order the exact same extremely personalized drink as you, Christ.” She left, I’m staring off into space still amazed/annoyed and I notice the small espresso cup placed in front of me. Now, I’m the only goddamned customer in the store and yet I heard myself instinctively ask,“Is this my doppio?”. Aauuughhh!

try singing it

Sunday Music 5/27/12

Pharaoh Overlord-Slow City
Pharaoh Overlord is a side project from the Finnish band Circle. This is from their first album, the oddly titled #1. Great heavy psych drone. Between Pharaoh Overlord, Circle and their other side bands these guys have released close to 1,000 albums. By the time you are finished reading this they will have released two more. [to listen click on arrow below]

Still More Album Inserts

Here’s a bunch more stuff that I found inside trashed albums[click on image to enlarge]:

Hate Me, Part 231,030

Here’s two:

1)I was at 7-11 getting a cup of coffee and while I was at the counter I saw a guy in a motorized wheelchair outside trying to get in. I did the right thing and opened the door for him. Unfortunately my foot was in his path and he sloooooowwly rolled over it. It really hurt and I let out a short “ow”:
Guy in Wheelchair: Was that your foot?
Me: Yes….No…I mean yes…Yes,…you ran over it…but it’s not hurt…so…
By the time I had finished stammering he was careening down the candy aisle.

2)We get the sunday paper, it lands in the driveway and I always throw it on the porch on my way to work. We have a dog gate and my throws usually knock it over. It makes a lot of noise and it’s a pain in the ass to set up again. So I thought I’d try to lob it over the gate. It wound up on the roof. Which was embarrassing enough, unbeknownst to me Carrie was standing by the front door and saw the whole thing:
Carrie-Did you just throw the paper on the roof?
Carrie-I just saw you do it
Carrie-Nice goin’
When I got home, the wind gods had blown it off of the roof .

Sunday Music 5/20/2012

Piney Brown-Everything but You
I don’t know much about Piney Brown. He was born in Alabama in 1922 and died in Ohio in 2009. He wrote songs for James Brown & Little Milton and recorded songs for King records and Duke. This song can be found on one of the most truly amazing soul comps ever. Barnyard Soul (Deep Groove Records, through Crypt).     [to listen,click on song title below]
03 Everything but You


The saddest record I own

I have a lot of records. I have too many records and out of all the crap that I own this is the saddest one. Not in a Bonnie “Prince” Billy- I See a Darkness way but in a three legged dog, baby with a hair lip type way. Jolly Joe Koziol-The Best of Jolly Joe. To start with you have his name and the photo of him at a dresser with a reel to reel and an accordion, then you have the fan testimonial. But the heart punch comes at the bottom left, a dedication to his dead son “I sure do miss you Joey” and his photo on the record itself. Man, that’s pretty goddamned sad, the upbeat polka music just underlines the sadness.

The Hunger Strike

[Two inmates in a prison yard]

-Hey…I decided I’m gonna go on that hunger strike we were talking about. Nobody’s paying attention to the cause…maybe a little Red Cross action will bring some media exposure.
+… you’re gonna do it….I didn’t think we…uh agreed that was the right way to go…ya know…uh….um..
-Uh, what?
+…ya know…you’re a….you’re….a …bit.uh…
-…say it…I’m fat…I know…so what..
+Look, I’m just sayin’….time wise it would take a lot longer if you went on …the hunger strike…because…uh..uh…People might think you…just went on a diet…and nobody would really care… “Stop the presses! Fat inmate loses weight!”
-Yeah…but think of the dramatic before and after pictures
+What is this Weight Watchers?…Look I’ll be honest, man…You’re fat, really fat…Jabba The Hut fat….and.. uh… by the time you lose enough weight for anybody to be worried…we’ll both be dead of old age.
-Alright…alright..mmmm…how about a reverse hunger strike…I would eat more…so much more that…I would be too fat to be removed from my cell.
+Great… “Freakishly obese inmate” that should get a lot of sympathetic media attention…Unless your cause has something to do with circus freakshows, the reverse hunger strike isn’t really gonna work.
-Ok ok about…..


Two smaller stories:
1) Overheard in the sheet music department. “My teacher has a recurring nightmare, he’s in Cats but they won’t tell him what part so he has to try on all the costumes.”
2)Guy who comes in fairly frequently, I think he’s always a bit drunk.

Guy-hey my man, I’m lookin’ for Miiiiiiiles Davissss.

Me-sure, right over here

Guy- You know the one I want…

Me- Kind of Blue?…

Guy-Noooooo….you know…

Me-Bitches Brew?

Guy-whaaa?….no…no…it’s a …uh…JAMES BROWN!

Me-Miles Davis has a record called James Brown?

Guy-…???…No…I want James Brown the one with the hits

Me-We have his greatest hits

Guy-(looks at cd).. these ARE his greatest hits…sold.

Sunday Music 5/13/12

X (Aus.)-Simulated Lovers
The “Australian” X was formed in Sydney in 1977. Simulated Lovers is from their first album Aspirations (1979). Led by the late Ian Rilen who was also in Rose Tattoo. It’s a great record and I think If they had a different name they’d have a bit of a higher profile over here (maybe even as big as The Scientists……yeah I know, point taken).
Who is this?
It doesn’t sound like X
It’s the Australian X
Anyhow, thanks to Karl for turning me onto them and for putting the wrong song titles on the disc. Enjoy.[to listen click on arrow icon below]