Archive for March 6th, 2012

I Hate Me, Part 200,771

Once again I was at Foodtown, and of course I was in a rush. It was really sunny out, I have the type of glasses that darken in the sun. Once inside they don’t un-darken very quickly. As I grabbed a basket I saw what I thought was a guy holding a toddler by the chest and neck. I was thinking, Good Christ, what a terrible way to hold a child”. I was staring at him and “Holy shit! He just pulled his child’s head off, Nooooooo! I was stunned and staring at him and I realized that it wasn’t a child, it was a melon, a baguette, and a sack of potatoes and the guy was trying to carry everything without a basket. He caught me staring at him and glared and I tried to mime a sorry-I-thought-I-knew-you type thing and I quickly went to the other side of the store. Good Christ, what a terrible way to hold your groceries.

Through darkened lenses, this combination of groceries appeared to be a child