Archive for February, 2012

I Hate Me, Part 243,995

I got a gift card to Barnes & Noble for my birthday. I went in looking for the new William Gibson book Distrust That Particular Flavor, it’s a collection of essays. I looked for it in the new non-fiction section and couldn’t find it. I ended up finding a few of them in the new fiction section. I am acutely aware of the customer/employee dynamic in retail, painfully so. I am also a huge fan of William Gibson. I wanted to let somebody there know that it was misfiled. I found a guy who was working nearby and said, Hey, look. I don’t want to be a jerk but this new William Gibson book isn’t fiction it’s non-fiction and I found a bunch of them in the new fiction section…”. The guy was as cool as could be expected, I knew I was being a mutant but… The guy thanked me and said he’d refile them. I went on my way looking for other stuff. A few weeks ago there was an interview I heard on the radio with these two guys who dig up material for negative political ads and wrote a book about it. It sounded interesting but I forgot what the title of it is. My mind is like swiss cheese and if I don’t write stuff down I forget it. Actually writing stuff down doesn’t always guarantee anything as my writing is at best, hard to read and at worst looks like an alien language. I didn’t want to ask because I really didn’t have enough info and as someone who usually gets people with little or incorrect info, I know it’s annoying. So I went back to the new non-fiction section and was hoping that something would jog my memory. As I was doing this, the guy who I told that the William Gibson book was misfiled came by and kind of gave me the stink eye. Nobody likes to have their work doubled checked, especially by a customer. So I could see how this would appear to the guy. “Sir… I did put the William Gibson book in the right place….” “..yeah……yeah..I knew you were gonna do it…I wasn’t checking up on you……I was looking for another book”, “What book are you looking for?”, “…Uhhhhh…I don’t know….I..uh… forgot the title….I….uh…uh……….there really was a book…I was…uh…looking………for…” I wasn’t gonna use my vague description, so I mimed a little “shuffle off to Buffalo” move and pointed to the check out line and slunk away.

Sunday Music, 2/12/12

This is from Highway Robbery’s only album, For Love or Money (RCA, 1972) They were a power trio and I think they were from the mid-west. This is prime, heavy duty 70’s rock. Kind of boogie shoppish and fairly ridiculous but they lean into it so goddamned relentlessly …yikes, I’m sold. [to listen to song click on title below]
08 Promotion Man

I Hate Me, part 106,227

Since I’ve been on this diet I’ve been cooking a lot of my own food. Usually on a day off I’ll cook a bunch of dinners and freeze them. This of course brings the dog around. Lucy is normally just running around the house on her own like some fur covered Anna Wintour, tearing apart any clothing that she could reach. Today she was on a shoe kick, “ call these boots!….GRRRR!…cardboard boxes have more style for your fat stupid feet….grrrrrr!……..IDIOTSgrrrrrrr!” I was cooking some chicken and when she got a whiff of it, she immediately was in the kitchen, staring at me with unblinking eyes. I usually keep some dog treats nearby for when this happens and I threw her a dog biscuit. She looked at it and then back to me, “Aarrfaarrfarff…what the fuck is this?! Some dry fucking cracker bullshit!!? arfarfarffuckthat! “ So being a mental defective, I start talking to her like she’s a little person in fur who can reason and isn’t a dick. “I eat this, it’s good,mmmmm” and I mimed eating a dog biscuit (yes, I have eaten dog biscuits on drunken dares when I was young). She’s just staring, “arfarfarfarf! what am I a jerk?!…Am I blind?!….You didn’t eat that shit…..arfarfarfarf!!!” So I Took another biscuit and put it in the pan I was cooking the chicken in (I had taken the chicken out) and heated it up in some chicken grease and then gave it to her*, “arfarfarfarf…this isn’t that same goddamned biscuit is it?!….mmmm…it kind of smells like people food…..alright….ARFARFARF!…you asshole, you tricked me…arfarfarfarfarfarf….arfarfarfarf!” I gave in and cut her a piece of my chicken. Placated, she went back to critiquing my boots.

*(I would also like to take this opportunity to say, yes I know she’s a dog and yes I know it’s bad for her behavior to kow-tow to her, and I’m a shitty weak willed dog owner. I know this)

a fur covered Anna Wintour

Old Russian Art “listening to the heart, a revolution” pt.1


I found this book at a flea market in Finland when we were on tour a few years ago. Listening to the Heart, A Revolution is it’s title, it’s from 1978. [click on image to enlarge]

Valentin Serov,1905

A. Nikolajev, 1918

Vladimir Kozlinski, 1919

Viktor Deni, 1920

Viktor Deni, 1920

Vladimir Majakovski, 1920

Vladimir Majakovski, 1921

V.Majakovski/M Tseremnyh, 1920 (main image)

V.Majkovski/M Tseremnyh, 1920 (detail)

V.Majakovski/M. Tseremnyh, 1920 (detail)

Nikolai Kuprejanov, 1922

REPRINT: Charles Dickens

Today  Charles Dickens would have been two thousand years old. You read that correctly, the “experts” say he would have have been 200 today (Feb. 7,1812-Feb 7, 2012) but I have uncovered some facts on the internet (not the regular internet, the secret one) that support my theory. According to my indisputable facts (don’t even try) Dickens was originally known as the Paul the Apostle and wrote part of the bible. He also went by the name “Ratcatcher Jones” in the 1400’s. Dickens died in Chicago 1934.  He was killed in a shootout with the FBI . Dickens had become part of Pretty Boy Floyd’s gang, he was known as moderately handsome Charlie. But we’re not here to discuss Dickens life, the following is a reprint of a thing I did concerning Dickens and porn names. Another little known fact, Dickens grandson is Larry “Hustler” Flynt, aka “The visual Dickens of porn”. Enjoy.

                                                                            -EXCITING REPRINT BELOW-

It was a rotten day today, snowy and messy but since I live three blocks from work I went in. It was just me and Matt and we closed early as there was no business. While I was wasting the hours waiting to go home, I went through a pile of DVD’s in it was a copy of Dickens-A Christmas Carol (the inferior George C. Scott version) and I got to thinking about porn names from Dickens characters; Scrooge would be Screwge, Nicholas Nickleby would be Dickolas Tickleby, Rev. Chadband = Rev. Choadhand, David Copperfield = David Cockerfield or David Cop-a-feel. Hey, I didn’t say they were good porn names, just porn names. Then I started looking at a list of Dickens characters and he had a lot of porn ready names, without all the assistance.
Poll Sweedlepipe (from Martin Chuzzlewit)
Brownlow (from Oliver Twist)
Fanny Cleaver (from Our Mutual Friend)
Mr. Venus (from Our Mutual friend)
General Choke (from Martin Chuzzlewit)
Sampson Brass (from The Old (bi)Curiosity Shop)
Luke Honeythunder (from The Mystery of Edwin Drood)

Sunday Music, 2/5/12

This is from the Small Faces self titled debut album, it came out in 1966 on the Decca label   [to listen, click on the arrow thing below]


There’s a guy who comes in a lot, he’s nice enough, a bit off, likes jazz. He asks for a lot of stuff but frequently has the name wrong.
Guy: Last week, I put aside a Dave Burbank CD and I can’t find it now.
Me: Do you mean Dave Brubeck?
Guy mmmmmm I don’t know…it had a boat on it.
Me: Do you remember the name or any part of the name?
Guy: No…but it had a boat…do you have any with boats on them?
Me: Did you check his section?
Guy: …no…you don’t have listings for cd’s with boats on them?
Me: No we don’t, sorry.
Guy: mmmmmmm

AKA Dave Burbank

Old Russian Art “listening to the heart, a revolution” pt.2

Here’s some more. [Click on image to enlarge]

Aleksei Radakov, 1920

Aleksandr Apsit, 1919

Kasimir Malevits/Lazar Lissitzky, 1918

Sigismund Vidberg, 1919

Sergei Tsehonin, 1919

S. Ivanov, 1920

Konstantin Juon, 1920

Jelizaveta Kruglikova, 1923

Vladimir Lebedev, 1921

Vladimir Lebedev, 1920

Aleksandr Rodtsenko, 1923
Vladimir Favorski, 1923
Andrei Gonstarov, 1922
Varvara Stepanova, 1922