Archive for February 7th, 2012

REPRINT: Charles Dickens

Today  Charles Dickens would have been two thousand years old. You read that correctly, the “experts” say he would have have been 200 today (Feb. 7,1812-Feb 7, 2012) but I have uncovered some facts on the internet (not the regular internet, the secret one) that support my theory. According to my indisputable facts (don’t even try) Dickens was originally known as the Paul the Apostle and wrote part of the bible. He also went by the name “Ratcatcher Jones” in the 1400’s. Dickens died in Chicago 1934.  He was killed in a shootout with the FBI . Dickens had become part of Pretty Boy Floyd’s gang, he was known as moderately handsome Charlie. But we’re not here to discuss Dickens life, the following is a reprint of a thing I did concerning Dickens and porn names. Another little known fact, Dickens grandson is Larry “Hustler” Flynt, aka “The visual Dickens of porn”. Enjoy.

                                                                            -EXCITING REPRINT BELOW-

It was a rotten day today, snowy and messy but since I live three blocks from work I went in. It was just me and Matt and we closed early as there was no business. While I was wasting the hours waiting to go home, I went through a pile of DVD’s in it was a copy of Dickens-A Christmas Carol (the inferior George C. Scott version) and I got to thinking about porn names from Dickens characters; Scrooge would be Screwge, Nicholas Nickleby would be Dickolas Tickleby, Rev. Chadband = Rev. Choadhand, David Copperfield = David Cockerfield or David Cop-a-feel. Hey, I didn’t say they were good porn names, just porn names. Then I started looking at a list of Dickens characters and he had a lot of porn ready names, without all the assistance.
Poll Sweedlepipe (from Martin Chuzzlewit)
Brownlow (from Oliver Twist)
Fanny Cleaver (from Our Mutual Friend)
Mr. Venus (from Our Mutual friend)
General Choke (from Martin Chuzzlewit)
Sampson Brass (from The Old (bi)Curiosity Shop)
Luke Honeythunder (from The Mystery of Edwin Drood)