I Hate Me, Part 109,777

Went to Foodtown tonight after work to pick up some stuff for Christmas dinner. I had maybe five items and was in the “fast track” aisle. There was an older guy in front of me who was trying to figure out how to sign the charge card screen after he swiped his card. While I was waiting, my cashier and the cashier at the next counter started talking about their periods. The duration of their periods, the severity of their periods, the monthly time frame of their periods. The effects of certain types of birth control on their periods. I’m staring at the ground, willing the old guy to hurry up so I can start getting rung up by this amateur gynecologist “(thinking)Let’s Go!… Just put a fucking X on the screen with that stupid looking fake pen, Just…Fucking.. Do it, MOVE IT MOVE IT”. As the guy finally figured it out, an older woman who was just starting to get rung up by the cashier at the next counter wanted to join the cashiers conversation. “are you girls talking about… you know…” and she elaborately moved her hands in front of her crotch, not in a sexual way but in a this is the area we’re talking about, right? kind of way. She continued “…your time…down there…” The two cashiers just stared at her. “…Let me tell you something…two weeks…two…weeks, I’m not even kidding.” I guess this scared my cashier into ringing me up and I was quickly gone.

    • galbacco
    • December 23rd, 2011

    Bloody hell…

    • Hamish Squeamish
    • December 23rd, 2011

    You know that there are other supermarkets nearby, right? I love being the beneficiary of the nonstop horror show that is your relationship with Foodtown, but sometimes I feel bad for you.

    • spank
    • December 23rd, 2011

    You should have joined the conversation, and talked about your *anal leakage and drippity ding-a-ling* problems, that would have freaked them out ….

    *Disclaimer: Tim is not afflicted with any of those symptoms, they are being used only in the context of making a joke on this blog. (How’s that, Tim, did I make a good enough denial?? People won’t think you got those problems now that I set them straight …. wink, wink 😉
    Hey Tim, Merry Christmas & Happy New year to you and yours, see ya next year when I start my crusade of being drunk all the time and going record shopping!!

    Best regards, Mike

    • Imelda Marcos
    • December 27th, 2011

    Thanks, I needed that laugh. Very funny.

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