REPRINT: American Santa Vs. Russian Santa

[Yeah i know another goddamn reprint, but I’m completely under the gun. New stuff by monday. sorry]

American Santa Vs. Russian Santa

While going thru some of my parents’ old things, I came across a cold war era Christmas pamphlet that was distributed by the Bayonne Decency League (the BDL) entitled The American Santa Claus. Here’s an excerpt comparing the American Santa with the Russian Santa:

* The American Santa delivers toys and candy.
* The Russian Santa delivers savage beatings.

* The American Santa wears a red suit the same color as the proud red stripes of the American flag.
* The Russian Santa wears a suit stained red with the blood of innocents.

* The American Santa has friendly, patriotic reindeer pulling his sled thru the night sky.
* The Russian Santa has bloodthirsty flying wolves pulling a dilapidated prison wagon around.

* The American Santa puts toys and treats into stockings hung with care.
* The Russian Santa slops sour borscht into hollowed out peasant feet that are crudely nailed to a wall.

* The American Santa eats milk and cookies left out for him by boys and girls.
* The Russian Santa feasts on childrens dreams and drinks their frightened tears.

    • Yakoff Smirnoff
    • December 16th, 2011

    OK, that’s it … I’m going to kick your ass !!

    • fishbreath
    • December 17th, 2011

    waiter! i’ll have the pan-seared-hollowed out peasant feet, and please draw me a tankard of children’s tears…oh, and more bread.

    • Twisty
    • January 8th, 2012

    Having lived in Russia for the past six months I can confirm this.

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