I Hate Me, Part 209,917

Well, i didn’t think I’d have any time to write but this pretty much just happened. Since we got back from tour I’ve been running around like crazy. End of tour accounting, merch from when I was away, going back to work, my band had a show and most importantly spending time with Carrie. This morning was a bit crazy, Carrie wasn’t feeling good and was going into work late. I had to run to the bank and the post office, do merch and go to work. I had a pile of merch to mail out in the dining room. Now for all the shit I write about the dog, she’s pretty well housebroken, but accidents do happen. I stepped in one of those accidents in the dining room. It was dark, the floor was brown, the shit was brown. I didn’t see it. Fuuuck! I took off my shoe to see the damage. As I was maneuvering to get my one shoe off I stepped in it with the other shoe. Fuuuccck!FUUUCCKKK! As I moved to get out of the shit with my other foot, I stepped in it in my sock. NOOOO! YOU FUCKIN LITTLE SHITTTT! FUCKKKK! I jumped back and the insole of the first shoe (I’m gellin’ like Stellan…….Skarsgard (If he signs as a spokesperson, i want a cut)) fell into the shit.FUCKFUCKFUCKFUUUUCCKKKNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! This took less than thirty seconds. the final damage: 2 shoes with shit on them, 1 sock (and the foot under it) with shit on it, and a ruined insole. I really wanted to start drinking but it was 8:30 in the morning.

    • spank
    • December 16th, 2011

    You better go buy lottery tickets today …. stepping in shit is considered lucky, and you hit the proverbial motherload today.

    • galbacco
    • December 17th, 2011

    There’s nothing like the feeling of dog shit between your toes in the morning…

    • fishbreath
    • December 17th, 2011

    a cringe-able moment to be sure. aarrgh.

    • Dream Weasel
    • December 18th, 2011

    Merry Christmas, Daddy !!! Hope you likes my present … and I got’s alot more where that came from !!

    • Matt
    • December 18th, 2011

    Your Foot’s gotta smell better than it used to

    • spank
    • December 19th, 2011

    An early, suprise Christmas present from the Dream Weasel to Daddy … and rest assured, there’s plenty more where that came from.

  1. 8:30 in the mourning aint never stopped me before….

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