Notes from Das Boot 130

Malmo, Sweden
I just spelled Sweden incorrectly three different times, Sewden, Seeden and Sewdeen, which are all fine countries in their own right (although Sewdeen’s human rights record is troubling) but we’re still in Sweden, today we’re at the KB. We played Stockholm last night at Gota Kallare which loosely translates to “no internet, fuck you”, it shouldn’t have been surprising as the club is located in a sub-sub basement under a Pizza Hut (No free pizza, don’t ask). When I first started doing this, it was a big deal to mail a letter with the intercontinental-underwater pony express (oddly enough no ponies drowned while underwater but the mail was too soggy to read), what I’m trying to say (GET TO THE POINT ASSHOLE!) is that you goddamn kids don’t know what it was like back when touring involved oxcarts, and these generational landmines (interweb? running water? shoes?) are troubling to the more feeble minded among us (ok, me). Don’t forget, if you can’t brush your teeth after every meal at least comb your hair…. Oh yes, Bob wanted me to mention his dimple. Consider it done, now pay me.

    • spank
    • November 17th, 2011

    Damn straight, these kids today don’t know … like on past tours you had to walk 20 miles uphill (that was both ways, uphill to the gig and uphill back to the shoe box in the street where you slept), walking with no shoes in the heavy snow …. damn whipper-snappers.

    P.S. looking forward to the post dedicated to Bob’s dimple … inquiring minds want to know.

    • spank
    • November 17th, 2011

    BREAKING NEWS: Bob’s dimple detained at border, tour in jeopardy:

    According to a new report at Blabbermouth, Bob’s dimple has been detained at the border. Swedish border agent Olof Olsson was quoted “There is something nefarious going on here, and we intend to get to the bottom of it”. When asked whether he meant the bottom of the situation, or Bob’s dimple, Olof replied “Both”. This puts the entire tour in jeopardy, as Bob’s dimple is known to travel without proper documentation, or proof that it actually exists at all. The current crisis is perilous, and has international situation written all over it. When asked about the crisis, Bob replied “No comment”, but Bob’s dimple started shouting “At-tic-a, At-tic-a !!” …… Stayed tuned for further developments as the situation unfolds.

    • spank
    • November 17th, 2011

    Late BREAKING NEWS:

    Bob’s dimple has escaped police custody this afternoon, and is now considered a fugitive of the law (according to the respectable website Blabbermouth). Swedish Interpol Officer Olof Olsson (no relation to Swedish border agent Olof Olsson) has issued a world wide arrest warrant. Interpol has declared Bob’s dimple to be extremely dangerous, and in some cases, completely out of control. If seen, do not attempt to confront, as Bob’s dimple can be erratic when off it’s medication. Please contact Swedish authorities, but do not call the band, because they are really pissed off right now ….. not at Bob specifically, but they are really hatin’ on the dimple.

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