I Hate Me, Part 105,531

I went to Starbucks and while I was waiting in line minding my own business and staring off into space I noticed the woman in front of me. She had low cut jeans and a short jacket so a strip of her skin was showing. The skin was so oddly tanned, kind of an orange color that I had to look twice to figure out belt or skin. Of course the very moment I looked closer she turned around and gave me a dirty look. What could I say, “I wasn’t looking at your ass, I was looking at your oddly tanned skin”? Of course not, I just stood there and turned beet red and hoped that either the line would speed up or a car would drive through the window. Neither happened.

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