Archive for September 6th, 2011

I Hate Me, part 217,992 / I LIKE RECORDS 54

A really shitty friday at work, an I hate the world and every living creature in it type day. Annoying customers, annoying children of annoying customers, slow computers, pens running out of ink. The day had everything. I got a DVD call.
Caller-“Do you have Exorcist III on DVD?
I looked it up and couldn’t find any Exorcist DVD’s, which was weird. The store has two computers one with all the stock on it and the other that is hooked up to the internet. So I looked it up on Amazon and saw that I had spelled it wrong.
EXORSIST
I went back to the store computer (ten feet away) and typed quickly.
EXORIST
Fuuuuuucccckkkk!!, now even more quickly.
EXXOIST
Fuckin’ shitfuckfuck!!
OXORCIST
(*snap*)
I yelled to Matt (who was going thru his own adventure, see below), “How the fuck do you spell Exorcist?” He spelled it out slowly and clearly and I found that it had been out of print for a few years. The guy was still on hold.
Me-”yeah, thanks for holding. Exorcist III is out of print, we’re not going to be able to get it for you. You should try Amazon.com”
Caller-”Oh I know it’s not made anymore, I just wanted to see if you had it.”
Aaauurgghh! Cue the suicide punchline.

Matt’s shitty adventure
While this Exorcist shit (or Exorshit) was going on, Matt was trying to avoid a customer. When Matt comes to work he always stops at Starbucks for coffee. It’s early, the best you’re gonna get is an acknowledgment nod. As he’s leaving with his coffee, this guy comes up to him, “Hey, gettin’ some coffee there?” The smallest of small talk, microscopic talk. That guy was at the back counter looking through lp’s making random comments to no one, just loud enough to where an unsuspecting person might get trapped in a snare of pointless mind numbing small talk. Matt fled.  It’s not really an adventure, but you get the point.