I Hate Me, part 235,910

I snuck out of work to run an errand, when I got back I thought I could push it a little further and get a cup of coffee before actually going back to work. I got to Starbucks, there was one woman ahead of me, great (non-sarcastic). She had an egg salad sandwich that she was studying a little too intently. She got the attention of the girl behind the counter:
- I’ll Take this egg salad sandwich…is it fresh?
+ Yes it is (rings it up)
- …and I want a cappuccino
+ A cappuccino? What size?
- A latte…I want a latte
+ Ok, what size?
- Medium….but I want a cup of ice with it…sometimes they get too hot
(TICK…..TICK…..TICK…..TICK)
+ We could make you an iced latte
- Noooooo….they’re too cold….I want it…..I want it…just right.
+ Ok
- ..and those cinnamon rolls… are they fresh?
+ Yes they are
- Today fresh?
+ Yes they are
- Are you sure of that?
+ Yes I am
(TICK..TICK..TICK..TICK)
- …And I want it heated…but not too hot…Do you have a proper oven?…and I dooon’t think I want this egg salad sandwich anymore….mmm….just what’s in a latte?
+ Espresso topped with steamed milk and foam
- …And ice, which I’ll add…mmm…make it a smalllllll…mmm…instead of a medium…what’s the difference in sizes between the small and the medium…
+ (shows the two cups) This is the Tall which is our small and this is the Grande which is our medium
- So…Tall is small…Tall is small…mmmm…and..uh…mmmm…
(TICKTICKTICKTICK…AAAAUUURRRGHHH!!!)
By this time my mind had completely shut off and I lost track of time, I eventually got my coffee.

    • fishbreath
    • August 14th, 2011

    never fails to leave one with that baffled and defeated stare into oblivion…i feel you.

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