Archive for August, 2011
[We're cleaning up after the hurricane and I didn't have any time to write anything, this is a reprint of my first blog]
Spooning with de Kooning
The Criterion DVD Collection has just released the entire television series of the groundbreaking show “Spooning with de Kooning”. A short lived weekly interview program on the old Dumant Network in 1957. The show featured famed artist Willem de Kooning interviewing celebrities and newsworthy figures of the day while spooning them in an oversized bed. Shocking and controversial at the time it only lasted for 18 weeks. Disc one of the DVD features all 18 interviews, including those with Marlon Brando, Peggy Lee, Douglas MacArthur, Eleanor Roosevelt, and Robert Frost. Disc two which has bonus features including the complete uncensored interview between De Kooning and The Kingston Trio and a recent interview with pianist Dave Brubeck who wrote the theme music. The double disc also includes an extensive booklet with many recently unearthed photos and a New Yorker interview with de Kooning that was conducted right after the show was canceled.
I’ve probably mentioned before about how fast the dog (who for some reason is now being referred to as “Dream Weasel”) destroys her toys. Much like Charlie Brown and the football, we always go back and buy another toy that claims to be “tough” or “Tuff!” even though deep down we know that we’ll be bitterly disappointed. Today was no different, we were at a pet store( CosmoPAWlitan) and I saw a toy goat. It’s got triple stitching! It’s got hidden seams! It’s got photograph of a dog the size of a golf cart chewing it WITH NO DAMAGE! I’m sold, Carrie on the other hand, not so much. She gave it a once over with a jaundiced eye, “MMMmmm, Really? She’s gonna tear this to shreds in no time.” “But baby, it’s got triple stitching! TRIPLE STITCHING!” She relented. When we got home I went outside to throw some food on the grill, the whole thing must have taken me a minute, minute and a half tops. I went inside and Carrie was standing there with the goat whose guts were torn out. The dog, sitting there with her inscrutable grin, “Is that all you got, fucker? Bring me a real toy.”
Slow day at work, a lot of tire kickers looking for things we didn’t have. Things that are long out of print or never existed, “You got that Nirvana record where they do all Hendrix covers?, My friend saw it in the city.” Even if we magically come up with what they were looking for, they still wouldn’t buy it. Anyhow, during the day a woman came up to Sean and in an agitated/excited manner asked “Where’s the police station?!”, it sounded urgent and Sean told her quickly (make a right out of the store, go one block to the light, make a right, for one block and there it is). She then asked, “Where’s a good place to get a burger?!” He told her about The Globe (make a left out of the store, go to the corner, make a right, it’s on that block). She went for the burger.
Today’s blog was gonna be about the plastic wrapping from Charmin toilet paper. I tore it off of a package of it we got at work. It says on big letters on it “For a Clean You Can Feel” or something along those lines. My angle was going to be that most toilet paper should give you a “clean you can feel”, blah,blah,blah. Yeah, it was a thin premise at best. Now, when my wife walks the tiny terror she never (or almost never) brings a bag or something to clean up with and I’m always giving her grief about it, I usually come off like a self-righteous asshole (“it’s a sign of the collapse of society!”, “we’re bad neighbors”, etc). So this morning, I was walking the dog and I realized I didn’t bring a bag with me. I was hoping that Lucy would hold off until we got back to our yard, where I could clean it up later. “I will cook you a steak, if you don’t shit until we get home”, “I will let you destroy my favorite pen, chew up all of Carrie’s flip-flops, just hold off. ”We got close to home, I could see my house. She looked at me with the dog equivalent of “Hey, fuck you” and went on my neighbors driveway. All I had in my pockets were a bunch of old ATM receipts and the plastic wrapping from the Charmin package. It actually worked out ok, all things considered.
Excerpted from an article in The Manhattaner Magazine (May, 2011)
by Joel Youngblood
Mikhail Gorbachev, famous for bringing democratization or “Glasnost” to the USSR is puttering around his kitchen making a frozen pizza or more specifically a “Gorby’s” frozen pizza. “Here taste this, is there enough garlic on it?”. Since his retirement from politics Mr. Gorbachev has gone into the frozen food business. “I was at loose ends after I left government and I got to thinking…and it was something Reagan said in his Brandenburg Gate speech. Everyone just remembers Mr. Gorbachev. Tear down this wall! but there was a lot more to it, Reagan actually read a list of things for me to do in that speech.” Gorbachev pulls out a crumpled piece of paper and read the list:
Mr. Gorbachev. Tear down this wall!
Mr. Gorbachev. Check the batteries in your smoke alarms twice a year!
Mr. Gorbachev. Separate Your recycling!
Mr. Gorbachev. If you have avocado’s, store them in a paper bag!
Mr. Gorbachev. Develop frozen foods that taste good!
“Well I got to thinking that maybe I could make frozen foods that are not only tasty but affordable and…and this is the tough part, nutritious as well. So I started Gorby’s Frozen Foods and business is good it’s not where I want it to be…but I have a five year plan.”