I Hate Me, part 266,109

Running very late for work. Since I’ve been on my diet I have to prepare all my own food, it’s not hard just time consuming. I threw all my food in a plastic Foodtown bag and headed out. By the front door was another Foodtown bag.This one filled with dogshit, the tiny terror had eaten something (god only knows what) that didn’t agree with her. So I ran out with the two bags and naturally threw out my lunch and went to the car with the dogshit. On Saturdays I usually walk to work or ride my bike, when I’m late I take the car. I took the wrong car, I took the good car. I should have taken the old car, a 1989 Civic. A car so small that it looks like a clown car whenever I drive it (big guy, little car. How many big guys can they fit in it?).  So  I took the good car and realized it when I was about a block away from home. I turned around (now completely furious) and switched cars taking the dogshit bag with me. I got to work  in time, as i was getting out of my car I thought  that my lunch shouldn’t smell as bad as what the bag smelled like. Fuckin’ shit! I drove back home, got my lunch bag out of the garbage and switched it with the dogshit bag. All before nine am.

    • Ben
    • April 30th, 2011

    New meaning to the term ‘shit sandwich.’

    • fishbreath
    • April 30th, 2011

    ah, well done, you have passed our final test, you are now qualified to become a homeland security officer.

  1. No trackbacks yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s