Archive for April 12th, 2011

I Hate Me, Part 233,990


Since I’ve been on this diet I’ve been eating a lot more fruit and vegetables, which means buying more fruit and vegetables. Vegetables are pretty easy, if it’s wilted, or furry with mold, or on fire, or covered in bugs, odds are that it’s not going to be good. Fruit is a lot harder to judge. Apples are tough, if it feels firm that’s no guarantee that it’s going to taste good, I’ve gotten a few batches recently that taste like sawdust wrapped up in red construction paper. And melons, what the fuck is up with melons? I buy the precut stuff and it all looks the same, yet some is real good while some taste like colored styrofoam. Oranges are also tough. The navel on navel oranges are weird as well like some sort of sphincter but the regular oranges sometimes have more seeds than orange, so out of laziness I’ll go with the sphincter orange. I’m not really going anywhere with this, I just felt like complaining. Thank you for your time. How about those Mets?