Archive for March 22nd, 2011

I Hate Me, Part 295,054

I thought I was in for the night and my wife came into the living room, “You forgot to get the puppy’s training pads.” I muttered a curse against little shitpaw and headed out to Foodtown, they were closing in ten minutes. I grabbed a pack of the training pads and headed to the counter, the only one open. There was an old couple ahead of me with enough food for them, their children and their grandchildren. They had questions on the prices of most of their groceries and they had strict bagging instructions. The old guy was wearing a Yankees cap which made me dislike him even more and I started staring at his head trying to bore a hole through it with my glare (FUCKIN’ FUCK, WOULD YOU HURRY THE FUCK UP, AAAURRGH!). I was so caught up in my anger daydream that didn’t hear when another cashier came up, he was trying to get my attention:
Cashier- Sir..I can ring you up at the courtesy counter…sir…SIR
Me-…oh…uh…uh…cool…thanks…uh…I just spaced out…for a minute
Cashier-(quick dismissive look)…sure
Me-(I’m not stoned!)…yeah…I just…uh……….uh……………uh…..
Cashier-That’ll be $11.42
Me-They’re on sale…Wait…I gotacard…a savings card
I then fumbled through my wallet and spilled the entire contents, there wasn’t much in there but it helped build the case that I was either A) a moron or B) a stoned moron.
Cashier-(smirking) you alright there…sir?
Me-(AAAAAUUURGHH!)….fine..I’mfine…
Cashier-That’ll be $9.42….outta ten…
I took my change and slunk out, the old couple were still being rung up.