Archive for March 14th, 2011

I Hate Me, Part 100, 332

I don’t intent for this to always be about the dog. However, speaking of the dog, lately I have thought of the dog as a kind of crazy interior decorator (or should I say In-terrier decorator…….. Hello?? Is This thing on?).
Example: the dog tears up the kitchen floor “Look at Me! I’m tearing up the floor, you assholes! …You need a new Floor, NOW! …woof”. She then started eating paint off the wall, “Hey assholes! Look at me …I’m eatin’ paint off the goddamned wall! What kind of shitty paint job did you do that a tiny dog like me can eat it!… REPAINT IT! and DO….IT…RIGHT!… woof” She then started tearing up the carpet, “Look how goddamned easy I can eat this carpet!…What did you spend on it?!… It’s shit! …In fact I’m shitting on it!… woof” She’s also a movie critic, “Yes, I’m chewing up your DVD of Parallax View! …It’s awful! …It makes no sense and Warren Beatty looks like an idiot! …woof”. Who knew she was so passionate.