I Hate Me, Part 199,653

I was driving around doing errands on my day off, I had a big cup of coffee and I was ready to go. As I was driving I caught a look at myself in the rearview mirror and, gah! I had a giant hair growing out of my nose. It looked like a goddamned rope. Now those of you who know me know that I am not the most well groomed man around. For the most part my clothes look like I shop at Wrinkle Brothers and my hair looks like I’m going for the Nutty Professor look, or a “Can’t that man afford a comb” type thing. I do comb my hair, it just doesn’t take. Anyhow, I felt that I couldn’t do business with decent folks with a giant white hair sticking out of my nose, even if I was just going to Home Depot and Foodtown. I pulled into Home Depot (pet friendly ice melt) and decided to take care of the hair, because it was really bugging me. I tried to just yank it out which is A) embarrassing looking, because it looks like you’re picking your nose and B) really, really hard to do. I then got my trusty swiss army knife and went for the tiny scissor, which is pretty sharp and fairly useless outside of clipping errant threads from clothes and now trimming nose hair. I was using the rearview mirror for guidance and lining up the scissor cut. Out of the corner of my eye I saw that the guy who was parked next to me was returning to his car and was staring at my “Man versus Nosehair” battle. Flustered, I ended up cutting my nose instead of the hair and let out a barrage of curses that even through the closed confines of my car was loud enough to send the guy next to me on his way. I got the hair on the second try.

    • galbacco
    • January 11th, 2011

    I hate those nose hair moments, damn no matter how tight you grip with your fingers, they’re too damn tough and slippy. Had many an eye watering tweezer moment though…

    • galbacco
    • January 19th, 2011

    The world’s strongest man may be able to pull a jumbo jet, but I bet he couldn’t pull a dangler…

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