I Hate Me, Part 288,672



We went to the vet last night and while my wife carried the dog, I was left with her purse. Lacking the self esteem to hold it correctly (for fear of some grade school bully to pop out of nowhere and yell out “Fag!”), I figure there’s a couple of ways to go. There’s the “I’m holding poison” look (fig.1) or there’s the “I know it’s a purse, but I’m holding it in such a way that I squeezing all the femininity out of it” look (fig. 2). They’re both stupid and if I was a actual man instead of an overgrown child, I wouldn’t have any problem with holding her purse

    • galbacco
    • December 21st, 2010

    Should’ve carried the dog instead, problem solved…

  1. i prefer the ‘sling across the breast’ bicycle messenger look. or even better, the strap across the forehead, with bag draping down the center of back. the ‘sherpa’ look from tibet or chile. and last but not least, wear it like a belt with the bag at the small of back. a big man needs a big fanny pack. who would question such a fashionable statement?

  2. i tuck it under my shirt and my beer belly appears only slightly larger…

    • fishbreath
    • December 22nd, 2010

    thanks tim, that was hilarious.
    i once saw a guy in the hospital carrying his wife’s purse like he was a waiter at a party with a tray of vienna sausages.

    • Imelda Marcos
    • December 22nd, 2010

    Are you wearing BLUSH in those photos? EEEEEEW. You are!

  3. just wear it around your neck and let her pull you around with it!

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