I Hate Me, Part 220,199
We got a particularly good batch of Honeycrisp apples and I put one in with my lunch. Before going to work I had to go to the Mall (about 5 miles away) to pay my phone bill. As I got on the highway, my lunch bag fell on the floor and the apple fell out and was rolling around like a big red pinball bouncing off of many apple bruising surfaces. I tried to grab it without swerving all over the road and while my arms are long they are not orangutan length and I couldn’t get to it. It was the first time that I was hoping for a red light but of course it was smooth sailing. Out of the corner of my eye I could see the apple rolling around and I knew that the apple and my enjoyment of it were doomed. In my Bizarro World Tim brain I thought “Why apple not square?” When I got to the Mall, In picked up the apple and it was mushy and I was bummed.