I Hate Me, Part 220,199

We got a particularly good batch of Honeycrisp apples and I put one in with my lunch. Before going to work I had to go to the Mall (about 5 miles away) to pay my phone bill. As I got on the highway, my lunch bag fell on the floor and the apple fell out and was rolling around like a big red pinball bouncing off of many apple bruising surfaces. I tried to grab it without swerving all over the road and while my arms are long they are not orangutan length and I couldn’t get to it. It was the first time that I was hoping for a red light but of course it was smooth sailing. Out of the corner of my eye I could see the apple rolling around and I knew that the apple and my enjoyment of it were doomed. In my Bizarro World Tim brain I thought “Why apple not square?” When I got to the Mall, In picked up the apple and it was mushy and I was bummed.

Bizarro World, home of the square apple

    • Chris Burns
    • October 26th, 2010

    Drivng to the mall to pay the phone bill? Why didn’t you just put it on the Noon stage with the ranch payroll?

    • feedtim
    • October 26th, 2010

    It was too late to mail it and I never signed up for online payment and I missed the noon stage

    • dd
    • October 26th, 2010

    sounds like that apple almost got total rape…

    • feedtim
    • October 26th, 2010


    • John McBain
    • October 27th, 2010

    Pineapples are much easier to retrieve.

    • dd
    • October 28th, 2010

    tim, in line with mr. mcbain i think pumpkins should be the route you follow…

    • galbacco
    • October 30th, 2010

    Coincidentally, I was watching a show on Discovery or some other channel named after a Space Shuttle and the Japanese of all people, have developed and grow square water melons, makes packaging so much easier…

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